I'm not sex mad. I am wanting a relationship but mostly for the romantic edge. So what happened today was my friend (I don't know the whole details because it happened quickly) briefly mentioned that he lost his virginity at 13 or 14 and he was like god that was so long ago (he's 20 now) and I'm like "bitch please I'm 20 and counting on the virgin scale" but suddenly we got interrupted by something and the subject was changed. Now I don't want to go to him and say "hey did you really lose your virginity at that age?" But it really bothered me. It would bother me if anyone told me that because as stupid as I sound, I wish I lost my virginity at that age. But what bothers me more is that it was him that said that. I look up to him so much to the point I almost idolise him but at the same time I feel so inferior so this was just another factor that makes me feel so much inferior to him which further damages my self esteem. I know it's stupid. I know virginity is different for everyone especially since at that age I wasn't sure I was gay yet and "you should only have sex when YOU'RE ready" but this really bothered me today.
Not always, but most people who have sex that early in life don't really have a very good experience of it, and in some cases, it can lead to unhealthy attitudes about sex. On the other hand, people who wait till their late teens or early 20s are more mature and understand the emotional as well as the physical aspects of sex, so it tends to be much better. There was actually a study published recently that supported this idea. It's nothing to worry about, and I'd advise against just trying to have sex for the sake of losing some utterly pointless label. Wait until the opportunity is right and feels right. You'll thank yourself for it
As creepy as it may sound I know he doesn't have an unhealthy attitude to sex. He's in a steady relationship with a girl. I don't know the exact details of their sex life but he has confided in me with some of it. I'm a bit scared ill see sex like I do with alcohol. I was late to start drinking compared to most people my age and its like I've made up for lost time and more.
This is something I struggle with myself, and did even more before I had sex. I think the thing to work out is whether you want to have sex because you actually want to have sex, or if you want to have sex in order to cross it off your bucket list. Usually when I look at it that way it helps me keep things in perspective.
Tbh I do have a slight phobia of sex but I do have sexual and physical feelings and at times I'm in need of relief to put it bluntly. By ugh I just REALLY want that monkey off my back but even when I do I'll be pissed that it'll have taken that long
Your lucky you haven't had sex yet. You are more mature now and know more about yourself and sex. You will hopefully have a more fulfilling first time. You don't want to have sex just for the sake of loosing your v-card do you? That would be lame.
As a 21 year old virgin who's very self-conscious about it... I know that feeling. I won't lie. I am anxious to lose it. I don't value virginity like some people, but I feel like I need the affirmation that yes, somebody would indeed want to do that with me. Without it actually happening there's always some doubt.
I do believe we want what we can't/don't have. Those that lost their virginity early wish they waited later more often than not and those who (most likely did not choose to wait to) have lost it later hate that's they took so long
