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Don't know what to do...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by kuipo, Feb 16, 2013.

  1. kuipo

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hi,

    So, ahhh...okay. I'm twenty and have never been in a relationship with a boy or a girl. I'm attracted to men, but ever since I was in middle school I've had a sort of stifled attraction to women. I know this sounds really dumb, but one of the big things holding me back from coming out is the fact that my older sister is also gay and has been out for a long time now. I feel like since she's gay, I shouldn't be, as well, as stupid as that sounds. I know my parents would be as supportive and understanding of me as the ar with her, but I'm so afraid I'd be letting them down and embarrassing them. We come from a town that is less...than accepting and I just...I don't want people looking down on them because they have two gay daughters. I also have a little brother in high school right now, and I'm terrified of the crap he might get when people at his school find out both his sisters are gay. He's already got enough to worry about. He's also one of my best friends and I'm afraid me coming out might mess up our relationship.

    I just...I don't know what to do, and I feel really stupid because of it. Since I've never been in a relationship, I feel like I can't even say what I am, but at the same time I feel like at my age I should know.

    I don't know. I just...feel really dumb and...I just don't know.

    Any advice would be extremely appreciated...

    Thanks :slight_smile:
     
  2. Auxibiology

    Regular Member

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    Out to everyone
    You are never too old to know exactly who you are! I'm lucky to know I am an FtM at my age!
    Understand that when someone you are related to is gay, it DOES NOT MEAN YOU CANNOT BE GAY/BI/WHATEVER! Usually, if your parents accept your sister, they will accept you, because they feel that it is not strange!
    That was really short but I hope it helps!
     
  3. Bassplayer

    Regular Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
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    I don't really know all about what advice to give, but have you considered talking to your sister? If she's gay, she probably went through a lot of the same things you might be. It's awesome to have someone close that you can lean on when you are stuck. I don't know if you're close to her or not, but that would be my suggestion. She probably has some useful insights, and even if she doesn't, she's someone to talk to.
     
  4. UserName1

    UserName1 Guest

    I am going through the exact same thing, my older brother is gay and my family is extremely supportive so I feel like if I say something I would be hated, and I know it sounds stupid but I think it is a big deal that my mom may not have grand children, at least less. When I brought this up on a post of mine i was consoled by a few people who said I should talk to my brother, which is what I would recommend for you and your sister. They also said your parents will be supportive of you, I mean we've got it a bit easier if you ask me, we have family who is accustomed to this kind of stuff. But I understand the fear there will always be fear. As for your brother, I am in high school and have been made fun of for a gay older brother, but I can homestly say that it has made me a MUCH more understanding person, unlike these homophobes. And after all, he is family and I love him. I'm sure your brother will feel the same, although it may take some time.

    I wrote this on my iphone, forgive the mistakes, and good luck! I promise everything will get better!