Things have been going fairly well between my mother and I since I came out to her. Though she still thinks I'm just confused, and doesn't like keeping it from my father she has been dealing fairly well. However, lately we've been talking about prom. I have my dress, and I was very pleased with the whole thing. Now she's suggesting that I have a guy date, and asking me if I would turn a guy away if he asked me. First off: I don't really want a date; second: yeah if he was just a guy friend I would go with him, but that doesn't automatically mean I would have "turned" straight, because I'M NOT STRAIGHT! She just doesn't get it. I am very feminine (not girly) about half of the time, the other half of me is more androgynous, but I rarely get to express this side. I think that because she doesn't see my more masculine side (because I'm afraid of being labeled as being more "butch" than I am, damn I hate labels!) she assumes that I'm just feeling experimental about other girls and that I'm going to change my mind. I don't think it ever crosses her mind that I haven't dated a lot of guys, not because they're not interested or I don't want a relationship, but because I'm just not interested in GUYS, and I don't exactly live in the most gay friendly area (yay for the big f-ing buckle of the Bible Belt). I'd really love to be in a relationship, but my life is just too chaotic, and I'm not fully out either. I'm trying to be understanding of how she is struggling to with me being gay, but I just wish she would move past the idea that I don't know who I like/love. Between my friends and my mother either acting like I never said anything or that I'm just confused, I'm almost to the point where I want to make a graduation countdown, even though I still have my senior year to cope with. I just want to get out of here and ideally go to college somewhere where I can be openly gay and not feel like I should be ashamed of who I am. Sorry this was so long, but I have no one I can talk to face to face about stuff like this, like a counselor, etc. So thanks for listening, I have really come to depend on this site to let me know I'm not alone. (*hug*)
I'm sorry to hear that people in your life keep thinking you're going through something and maybe you'll turn straight. They should face the fact that it isn't going to happen. Be happy being you. I'm sure you're a great unique person and fun to be around. If others can't accept that, it's their problem, even if it affects you. Be happy with the way things are I guess, since that's all you can do for the time being. And it's understandable that you're not ready for a relationship, you're still young and maybe it's best when you're completely out. As for prom, maybe go with a guy friend. Or if not, just go with a bunch of friends and make it a fun evening. Good luck with that. (*hug*)
hmmm thats a toughie....i dunno what i can say to help ya...maybe you should direct your mom to this website and let her read your post? that could change her close minded ideas of her thinking you are straight but just in a confused experiemental phase..:lol: then she may finally get the idea that she is totally wrong..and needs to create a new image of you..:lol:
Sorry about your situation. I know it sucks when people don't take you seriously, and I can completely relate to having no one to talk to really. All you can really do is give your mom time. She'll realize eventually that your not in a phase. Heck, my parents still think it might be a phase/confusion and I'm 22. I also hear you on the Bible Belt. I went to High School in the bible belt, but now I go to college out of state, not that I went to a gay friendly college, but I'm out of the bible belt and away from my parents and/or anything else that might tie me down. Hang in there, college will come soon enough. As to prom, I always went with a group of friends, some who had dates and some who didn't. I'm so gay I even went with the same dress for both my senior and junior year. I could have cared less, in fact I'm not sure why I went to prom in the first place. Dressing up and getting all fancy really isn't my thing, and neither is dancing. I think I only went for the after-prom-Denny's excursions at 1am. Anyways, I know it sucks to always get this answer, but time is probably the best solution to your problem. People aren't going to change until they want to, so your mother will figure out things in her own time. All you can do is be yourself. If you need to talk to someone feel free to PM me. I'm not on EC all the time, but I check my email daily.
