Hello everyone! This is my first time posting, I am a 22 years old and finally wrapping my head around that I am Gay. It is odd though. I find men sexually as well as emotionally attractive, were I can only find very superficial women to be sexually attractive, but there is no emotional connection what so ever with any. I don't even have female friends! To be honest i'm ok if that is how I was wired, I still feel I need to end up with a Man who will love and care for me. I never really paid to much attention to my signals, but I always remember gravitating to the cute boys of the school. I always became great friends with them till I realized that's all I was to them a friend. Not someone they thought was cute, not someone they would kiss, not someone they could love. At an early age I had a few boys who had broken my heart by then, it is very depressing to be that sad over something and not know why you are sad. I was very oblivious to the fact I liked boys in this way for almost 19 years of my life. I always peeked and liked what I saw but not much more comprehensions other then that. Then I met him, my prince. From elementary school till today we have been friends. Through out our friendship we have had good times, difficult times, a couple of years of separation every now and again. In the end we always come back to hanging out and being great friends. I knew I loved him sometime after high school, I still have yet to say anything. I feel tension between us, but he seems way to preoccupied with women, always telling me “damn, shes hot. You find here cute?” or looking at naked women on my my computer and things like that. If he likes women I would be happy for him, but I feel we were meant to be on this world together. I wish I had the courage to speak up, and to let him know how he makes me feel. At the very least I want to come out to him. I have only come out to one friend before and he thought I was joking at first, and then told me I wasn't gay and hasn't really talked to me in months. I am a very confused person right now and could use some help. :{D
Well, it would be good to come out to another person, but you should choose carefully. Is there anyone in your life that you KNOW would be accepting? In order for anything to happen with your crush, you would definitely have to come out to him. I think it would be a good idea for you to have someone else you've told that accepts you first, though.
