He said NO!

I think you really do need to hold back from treating him like any more than a friend. He wants all parts of the relationship without the commitment. You have to show him you're serious or you're gonna get hurt in the end.

 

Are you in a closeted relationship? If so you simply may be looking at denial. Denial can go in lots of directions and many can harm you emotionally.

Have you made a logical argument to him, placing undeniable facts before him, to end with the question; "if all this is true you obviously have feelings for me as I do for you, so is it fair for me to do all the work in this relationship, or should I try to find a man who loves me and who can show it"?

Time is not your friend as you already know.

Why not suggest a joint counciling session to clear the air.

 

a year is too long to wait for love.

forgive you? why say sorry?

he is using u for sex no commitment, and gay. so if he loves you...let him come to you, let him go.

 

It does sound like he has grown too comfortable being with you, while not really being with you.

I knew someone like that, they were scared of a real relationship and content to stay in a friendship with perks.

 

dont get confused dear. if u really want a relationship there is nothing wrong in it. if he has a problem with it may be u should be just friends with him and nothing more. you should talk to him about it . its not at all wrong of you to expect some commitment from him dont worry too much. just be strong and stick to what you want. dont give in for the fear of breaking your relationship

 

He's defo not straight!

 

sounds like he wants fwb and you want a relationship. youre not on the same page, you have to be for things to work in a relationship or even fwb. you both cant have different things in mind or else it wont work.

you didnt have anything to appologise for. he was the one who was acting selfishly and not respecting you by going off in a huff when you said you wanted things to progress. dont fall into that trap of someone trying to play mind games by getting you to feel sorry for them when they dont get what they want, which is stupid. sounds like thats what he did. imo.

(*hug*)

 

I am having a really hard time finding something that makes him straight. Kgirl is right.

I think you should talk about WHY you are having a relationship right now given that he is not gay (which I highly doubt), or about how he defines what you have if that is not a relationship. Someone said something about denial, and I agree. Don't be suprised if you see major reaction while trying to clear things out. I suggest you are not too pushy, but you have to find out what he is thinking.

By the way, something very crucial. What do you mean when you say you are like boyfriends? Have you ever had sex? Any form of sex? Or just hugs, cuddling, kissy things and such? The more precise you are, the more we can help you.

 

He definitely doesn't sound straight.

 

Ok. That means that the guy is either gay or bi. Definetely not straight. And what you described is not friendship, so asking to become more than friends is the wrong question. I see two possible stories.

1) You have a full relationship, but he doesn't want to face the truth so suddenly. Maybe he is afraid to come out as well? Coming out is always difficult and maybe he just hasn't accepted his true identity yet. You need to talk this out.

2) You think you have a somewhat full relationship (or want to), but he treats you more like a pet/fuck buddy. He takes advantage of you etc. Again, talk this out.

I think the truth is somewhere in the middle, but closer to the first case. I don't know. Do you have any other details that might help us. I mean, have the two of you ever talked about your relationship again?

 

Hmm... Religious like "there is an almighty God who loves us all and cares for us" or like "pleasures of the body are sins, homosexuality is forbidden"? What about his family? Are they religious too?

 

You've talked to him, he said he didn't want a relationship, you accepted that.

There comes a point where you need to take what people say at face-value. If he really is gay and really wants a relationship, he needs to learn to verbalize it.

It's time for you to set some boundaries. If you aren't going to be in a relationship with him, then don't treat him like a boyfriend. And if he can't handle that, that's his problem, not yours.

 

I disagree.

If you care about your relationship, I don't think you should let go so soon. I believe there is a good reason that he reacted like that. However, it's up to you to decide whether it is worth pushing the issue further. I believe he may need your help right now, but as BummerMC said, you have to draw a line too. I will say it again, the best way to solve the problem is by talking it out. Say everything you think about what happened. See how he responds. And by that response I think you should be able to determine what is the right thing for you to do, move on or stay.

And seeing you haven't answered for a while, if the religion question makes you feel uncomfortable, just ignore it. What I am trying to tell you is that there may be that kind of reasons that make him want to keep the situation as it is now and that his is afraid to take the next step towards establishing your relationship (because it may mean to him that later on you will reveal it to other people too).

 

Just make sure you deal with this rationally.

His denial and your relationship are two distinct things. Even if you end your relationship with him, it doesn't mean you have to leave him forever. You can still help him even then. But you shouldn't be dragged into a pointless and tiring relationship just because he has his own problems.

Despite all the advice you will hear, you know how to adress this most efficiently. I don't think I have something else to add. I must leave now. I really hope I helped.