okay, so this is my first time ever posting in any forum, but i feel a bit confused, and i have no idea if im gonna get any crap for this but here it goes. i only come to terms with myself being gay a few months ago, and its felt nice accepting myself. i havent came out to anyone yet simply just because im not ready. but for myself, im fine with it and im happy for who i am. theres just one thing in the way. i had been lying to myself. i always told myself that im straight and being gay isnt for me. ive always had gay feeling (if you will), as in ive always found guys attractive ect., which is how i know its not just some phase a few other people i know have been told (who now say they just did it all to be different, as if it was some fashion thing). but the main issue is that as i was lying to myself, i got in a relationship with this girl (lets call her alice). now me and alice have been together for 1 and a half years, which is a pretty long time. i dont know if it was to mask everything up or whatever. all i know is that, now ive accepted who i am, i feel as if i cant lie to not just myself, but to her as well. im not attracted to her, and i dont think (more know) that i ever was. i also met this boy in december and we really REALLY like each other, however we cant be together, because i feel strongly about cheating and not doing it. he doesnt know about alice, ive told him that im not ready yet. so thats that. i wanted to know if anyone has had/know someone who's had something similar to this, or if anyone can help me what to do. and sorry if it seems all confusing, i tried to make something complicated simple :lol: thanks in advance :icon_bigg
It's rather simple the way I see it. You feel bad about lying to her. You don't want to be with her. You want to be with him. You can't lie to her forever, and he won't wait forever.
I'm sure you're not the first person to be in a situation such as this. I haven't, but I can tell you right now, if you are sure there is nothing there for "Alice", no attraction, no interest, no love, then you need to do the right thing, and end it. A year and a half is a long time, but if it's over, Lord, don't string the girl on any longer. That's not fair to her, or even to you, because doing so, it's going to make things worse in the end. Once that business has been handled, by all means, see where this new found romance leads with this guy. Just don't try to hold on to a lie of a life, while trying to live another. Not many people are great at juggling a double life, and, really, it's not morally right.
First of all, congratulations of finally accepting your sexuality, it's a big step. If you're sure about what you say, that you feel no romantic/physical attraction toward "Alice" then I think the only thing to be done is to end it with her. It's not fair on either of you to keep the relationship going, you'll only be unhappy with it if you can't be with who you really like and it's not right to lead her on any longer. -Dan
