All of a sudden, I feel like I'm trying to to figure out what gender I am. For over 17 years I've been a cis girl, but now I'm not so sure. I feel both male and female; am I genderqueer? Am I just becoming confused due some unrealized insecurity about my homosexuality? Any thought on this would be much appreciated!
What are you thinking/feeling about why you may be male as well as female? This kind of thing takes time and a lot of thought to sort out. A few resources where you can do some reading: T-Vox Answers to your Questions About Transgender People, Gender Identity, and Gender Expression
It is very difficult for me to explain this as a coherent string of thoughts so please bear with me on this. Also, English is not my first language so please excuse any misused grammar, misspelling, etc. I guess I was sort of incorrect in saying that I feel like both. I really feel like neither. I feel awkward with my own genatalia and I definitely know that I don't want a penis. I have recently had the thoughts that I would feel most comfortable if I started T and had top surgery but not bottom. Does that even make any sense? So, essentially, I want no genetalia and no boobs but I am fine with just sticking withthe genatalia I've already got. Thoughts-wise, I guess I just feel like a "tomboy." I don't really mind wearing girl's clothes on some days and others I feel most comfortable in boy's clothes. I have had people call me both sets of pronouns even though I don't look androgynous at all only because of "the way I hold myself." I have no idea if that answered what you were asking but I just started rambling...
I am exactly like this! I have no idea except I think I would identify as androgynous but slightly more feminine. I'll check out the neutrois, thing though, just nice to see someone in the same situation.
Neutrois actually sounds really fitting for how I feel! I can't believe I had never heard of it before. :/ I think part of my problem is that I live in a situation where I am not my own person. I cannot express my own gender or sexual identity and I think that this may have led to an aggravation of my dysphoria. I suspect that I am transmasculine but that could just be my inner me trying to overcompensate for all of the girlyness I am forced into now. Is that even possible? I always feel like my feelings make absolutely no sense to other people because they are so confusing for me...
I really think this stuff takes room, time, and reflection. It's probably harder for you since I fit into the binary but I'm hoping this helps anyway. With me I just went over a lot of my memories throughout my life. All the different roles I played and how I felt. Really tried to figure out who I really am, you know? I know the internet helps me explore different roles and points of view too. It's awesome when everything's just text and an avatar. What helps you feel like you just don't have anything to keep track of, like you're comfortable with who you are? Or a good one that helped me think about things, who do you wanna be in 10 years? Good luck figuring you out, and then making room for yourself to be that person.
What you're going through makes sense to me and sounds familiar. I also don't feel a strong need to change my genitals, but I do feel that need to have top surgery and augment my voice and secondary sex characteristics. Many transgender people do not transition by changing their bodies, but instead seek gender affirmation in pronoun use (please forgive if i'm a bit confused about this- any transgender, non-transsexual person's opinion would be greatly appreciated). And many transsexual people do not have genital reassignment surgery, either for issues of availability, or because they feel comfortable with their genitals. Gender and sex are not black/white male/female. This google search for "gender umbrella" turns up a plethora of useful resources: https://www.google.com/#hl=en&safe=..._qf.&bvm=bv.42661473,d.cGE&fp=5fb42cbd8508241 Please take your time and keep reading up. If you have anything you want reassurance on or have specific questions, this is a fine place to ask.
Thank you all so much for all of your help! I REALLY appreciate the support and guidance to more research I will definitely ask any questions I may have soon and I will probably share any revelations I am hoping to have one day.
