So this is probably the same story you've heard a hundred times before. I'm just extremely confused and it helps to write it down. I don't really expect any responses. All my life I've always suspected that something was off about me. I've always been a straight A student, I'm an only child, my parents are mostly supportive in everything I do, and my friends are great. The problem is I've never been happy. I'm just now getting to the point where I want to go hang out with my friends all the time and never want to be home. The problem with that is that I don't want to be home because I feel like I'm lying to my parents. I've dated five guys in my entire life, kissed three, and didn't feel a single thing. With two of the ones I kissed, it was almost repulsive. None of those relationships lasted longer than two weeks. I've never dated a girl, but I've always been more attracted to them, emotionally and physically. With girls, I set my standards low, but with guys, if my standards are high. In movies and books, I always find the guys romantic and attractive and think "I'd date someone like him" but in real life I've never connected with a guy in anyway. Except for my bestfriend, but its completely platatonic.(he's gay) I guess I know what I am... I just have trouble accepting it. I don't want to let my parents down. My Mom would be devastated if I told her and would blame herself. She wouldn't understand that its not her fault I'm like this. I've become happier since acknowledging the feelings inside me instead of just brushing them off. I'm just not sure where I stand anymore. The question that nags at me the most is "where do I go from here?" :help:
Where do you go? You continue your life. You continue to kick ass at everything you do. And if your mother decides to feel less of you (or herself) because you're gay/bi, that's completely her issue and not yours. Lex
