I don't know what's going on. I can't focus, my mind just won't lock onto any one thing. I literally have no attention span for anything that actually needs to get done.All I can do is watch youtube videos and feel sorry for myself. I don't have enough motivation to sleep, I don't have enough motivation to cut. I guess the second part is a good thing. I haven't cut in... nearly a week, I think. I just can't get my mind to settle on anything. I had a panic attack Friday, in front of my whole Mock Trial team. So that was... interesting. I made an offhand comment on it, and I didn't tell the whole story. Some I'm worried people are filling in their own blanks. I don't like that. Ugh. Wanna cut. I'm so numb, I'm just sitting here a mix between :dry: and:icon_sad: I wanna just:bang:, but I don't even have enough motivation to get up from my chair, or take my evening meds. I don't have enough energy to take care of myself, even like brushing my teeth or hair. I have a psych appointment tomorrow, which I guess is good. I just can't do anything right now.
I understand a little. I feel like I losing my mind. I can't get anything done, just feel so tired and don't seem to care. Wishing I was dead and gone, and all this crazy talk in my head would just stop. One minute I'm female, next I'm male. Can you all stop moving around and just pick a fricking side please??? is that so blasted hard? ARGH! So I get so angry with myself I want to hurt myself. Just so I can feel something straight for once. *sigh* sorry I guess I'm not much better sorry :icon_sad:
