I need advice, how to stop flirting with girls

There is this girl in one of my classes, who I swear likes me. I sit next to her in class, and her, I, and another girl usually work together when we do group stuff. She hasn't actually said anything yet, but the way she talks and acts, it definitely seems like she's flirting with me.

Now, on any other message board, this would be great. For me, though, there are two problems I'm having:
a. I'm gay
b. I'm not out, yet

I really think I have this 'problem' of flirting with girls, unintentionally. Either that, or I'm sending out signals that some girls seem to misinterpret. Most people probably couldn't tell I was gay, so that kind of adds to my 'frustrations.'

Does anyone know any tips for how I could avoid this kind of thing? Have you had similar experiences? How have you handled it?

 

Thanks for responding.

Would it be easier if I just came out? Of course. That would solve a lot of the problems that have been bugging me recently. Why don't I do it?...
.....
...I can't say, for sure. It's probably that I'm just worrying about everything too much. I want to try to find the perfect moment, where it would be more natural to say. I have to say, I've been waiting for that moment for the past month. I'm probably just going to have to blurt it out sometime, like I did with my parents. That in itself is a pretty hard thing to get my nerves up to do, but it's probably a lot better than trying to wait for a moment that, as far as I know, might never come.

It's frustrating, because I've had many opportunities where I'm alone with him, or where we might not necessarily be alone (as in at a public place), but we're not with any group. And so far, I haven't gotten up the nerve to say anything.

Does anyone have any suggestions on topics I could talk about that I could use to off-handedly mention that I'm gay, instead of just blurting it out someday?

 

I've been thinking about mentioning it off-hand, but then I get into the problem of trying to wait for a good time to add it into the conversation. And, I've been waiting for a 'good moment' to mention it for, I'd have to say, at least the past month.

I've made it a personal goal to come out to him by Christmas vacation (as I don't want to spend my vacation stressing over this). So, I've got around three weeks left. I'll find a way to say it (i'll just randomly blurt it out if i have to), but I'm just looking for a way to not have it be so, well, random.

I'd like to try to fit it into a conversation somehow, but this is honestly probably going to be what I'm going to end up doing. It sure ain't going to be easy, but I've spent enough time waiting for a 'perfect moment' that I don't foresee coming anytime soon...

 

So I finally came out to him today, and believe me, it was a huge relief. I fell in love with him, have gone through a period of trying to convince myself he was gay (and see things that weren't there), gone through a period where I started to realize that he was straight and tried (unsuccessfully) to make myself get over him, and now that I've come out to him, it's really helped me prove to myself that he is, indeed, straight, and it's really helped me to get over him.

I find it kind of funny: I didn't read the last two posts before I came out, but the above is really what I ended up doing. Thinking back on it, today went pretty well. I usually eat dinner with the same group of people everyday (he's in this group). People leave gradually, and it ended up just being us two left. We left together (if two people are left at a table, they're going to leave at the same time), and we walked back to our dorms (which are really close to each other). I ended up walking to his dorm with him, as neither of us had that much homework (and i'm a huge procrastinator..). I wasn't thinking of coming out when I got there, but a little bit before I left, there started to be some time where we weren't talking. I started to realize that this would be just as good a time as any, and I probably went over what I wanted to say at least 20 times before I actually got up the nerve to say it.

He ended up taking it pretty well (i figured that he would). It was a little awkward immediately afterwards (how is a person supposed to respond to that?!), but that was kind of expected.

All in all, I feel great. I'm finally able to get over my crush on him (there's no longer that *chance* that he might be gay) and move on.

There's just one thing that I feel kind of bad about. He ended up asking me if he was the first person I had come out to, and I informed him that he was the second. I then went and told him the name of the other person, and that he was also gay. This other person (the first one i've come out to) is kind of like me, where he doesn't exactly proclaim it, but I doubt he'd ever deny it. I don't think anything negative will ever come of it. I just feel kind of bad about it.

Sorry for any bad spelling or grammar, but I'm kind of half asleep as I type this.

 

I've realized that this topic has really deviated from my original question, but oh well.

I ended up coming out to two more people today. A guy I know (i know him a little from the Gay Straight Forum i'm a part of) was telling a girl (she sits at my lunch table) that he had just come out to his mom, and said that she was going through a little denial (we were part of a big group, but i doubt that [a] anyone was listening, and he cared if anyone overheard). I was right next to them, and I decided to mention that my dad had also gone through a little bit of denial (which, while i didn't directly say anything, implied a lot). It was completely unplanned, but it was an opportunity I couldn't resist.