So, I met this friend of mine, Wyatt, last year in High School. So, here are the facts... 1. I met him when he was a Freshmen. I was a Senior. I've now been graduated for almost a year. 2. I Developed a HUGE crush on him almost immediately. While he wasn't my first crush, my crush on him was/is an order of magnitude bigger than any crushes previous and since. 3. Up until that point, I had always pushed my crushes, all sexual feelings, to the back of my mind. I really didn't want to confront my sexual orientation, so I pretended like if I didn't think of it, it didn't matter didn't exist. I basically pretended to be an Asexual. (Is that common?) 4. So, when I developed my crush for Wyatt, I was EXTREMELY confused. Not only did I have to, as a Senior, deal with a huge crush for the first time in my life, I had to deal with the fact that I was gay, and quit pretending to be an Asexual. I was also a bit distraught by the 4 year age gap. 5. I've never told Wyatt my feelings for him. 6. I have no idea if he is gay or straight. My "Gaydar" tells me he may be gay, but I have no idea if that's just because that's what I want to believe. Well, since then, I have finally accepted and embraced my Sexuality. (I'm still in the process of coming out of the closet.) I have determined that their is nothing "wrong" with the age gap. But the problem is, my crush/feelings for him hasn't really gone away. So my question is, what should I do? I don't have his phone number, e-mail, and he doesn't have a facebook, so I don't really have a way to talk about him. Should I just leave him alone, and hope that my feelings finally dissipate? Should I try to meet him in person, and try to explain how I feel? Should I wait a few years, and then try to proceed with the friendship? (Not to get confusing here, but truth be told, I don't really feel comfortable being his "boyfriend". I feel like that would be terribly unfair for him, and extraordinarily difficult for both of us. I guess what I really want is to have some dialogue with him, and see where it takes me)
Even if you were to pursue this relationship, it would be difficult. Mostly because of the age gap, but also because of the fact that you've graduated and he hasn't. If he was gay, and did like you, too, would his parents (and yours) be comfortable with it? He's still a kid. I would tread carefully, here.
Hi there, and welcome to Empty Closets. First of on coming out to, and accepting, yourself. Given that you don't have the means to contact him in the first place, unless you still have the opportunity to see him in person and have some contact with him, I wonder why you want to pursue a relationship? It seem that your crush on him and all the associated thoughts are doing the talking. What I mean here is that even though you yourself have doubts about any possibility of a relationship with him, and it being almost an uphill battle you are thinking about him and wanting to pursue something. Depending on your ages, a four year gap isn't a big deal but there other things you would need to fist. One, would be to come out to him and two, finding out as to whether he is gay and into you. The other thing to consider is that even if you were able to contact him, and depending on your friendship and the time passed since you last spoke with him, it would be a bit odd just to come out to him and see what his reaction is. In other words, you would need to reconnect with him first and see where things are at. I know this might not be what you want to hear, but something tells me that moving on from the crush, might be your best option at this point. I find it curious the way you ended your last paragraph - in that waiting a couple of years before trying to continue a friendship seems to indicate that a part of you wants distance. Something to think about. What it comes down to is, what do you want to do? What do you think is the best course of action at this very moment?
First: there, not their. Second: I think even if you don't believe there's anything wrong with the age gap, this is borderline pedophilia. And note that in conjunction with homosexuality, which people seem to associate with pedophilia, this would not look good. Third: Just leave him alone.
If he is a friend, why do you have no way to contact him? Are you actually friends? (There was a girl I had a crush on in high school. I would probably have said she was a friend, but in retrospect, I recognize now that we did not actually have any real relationship at all.) If you are not really friends with him, I think you are better off letting it go, and accepting that he just helped you to discover yourself, and now it's time to move forward.
