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Homophobic parents, long distance relationship, I need advice :(

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by EvanMonkey1, Feb 19, 2013.

  1. EvanMonkey1

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Hi everybody,

    I 'm 21 years old, moved a year and 5 months ago to USA with my mother and brother. My father stayed in our country of origin due to papers. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend since two years ago, and we both have done great. Communicate, talk as much as we can and there always has been a strong connection between us. Anytime we need each other we are there for both of us. The hard situation is that we are miles apart, that she is married and has two sons. At a very young age she had get to married cause she was pregnant of her first son. There never has been love between her and her husband. And we are working on getting together. That would imply me moving to KY. I honestly dont have any inconvenience with her sons because i love them as much as i love her. The way as she has been there for me, and talked proudly of me to her sister, mother, and best friends is something that has a huge meaning to me. And is not just about words but about proves of her true love. I came out to my mother around 7 months ago and things didnt go very well. Since that day our relationship has changed completely, and she has been hurtful to me. I always keep in mind that this is as hard for her, after having expectations with me. However feel its unfair she acts like if i was a monster for being lesbian. My parents have been so overprotective with me in a way that i see extreme. And i want to be able to have success in my life by my own self, to be happy, to have a family with her, and to have my parents in as well. My girlfriend is lookign for a job and save money that way we could move together, but its such a difficult and complicated situation. And i dont want to overthink things and lose who could be a wonderful person, but at the same time if she ends up being not so wonderful as i have felt she is...i could be in the middle of a hurricane and never recover from it. I would move to a place i dont even know, alone. But at the same time i feel more scared of staying here than leaving. I dont want to lose her, either my family. My mother doesnt want to even try to know her, to have a base to reject her. I dont know what to do or how to proceed.
     
  2. nylondon

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2013
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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all


    I'm sorry about your situation. I think at this point though, even though you say ultimately you want both your girlfriend and your parents in the picture, you'll have to pick one or the other. If your parents are not accepting of your sexuality now, they may well be after a while of having space from you. Meanwhile, you're 21 and you seem to really want to leave, so you should. By moving out and getting on with your life, your actions don't affect your parents at all.

    Even if it is the case that your girlfriend turns out to be not great, you're still finding your own two feet by building up your own life and experiences.