How do I get my mom off my back? I'm not out to her and only a few of my friends know. She knows that something is up with me, she just assumes its because of my best friend. He and I are in the same situation, only he's into guys and I'm into girls. A few years ago, he and I dated but we realized it was completely platatonic between us. I love him, but its definitely a brother thing. Even after all these years my Mom still thinks I'm in love with him, even though I've viscously denied it. She's very pushy and won't let it drop. I can't tell her about him because he's asked me not to tell anyone, especially her. And I can't tell her about me because 1. I'm just not ready to admit it to her and 2. I don't know how she would react and I'm still living at home. I just don't know what to do. I'm a horrible liar and she sees right through me when I do. I've tried avoiding her and I've tried just acting normal and neither seems to work. So how do I get her to back off while keeping all my secrets??????
Hey there! So, I was in pretty much the same situation as you are now. I fixed it by just coming out to her. I wasn't ready either and I thought she was going to kick me out (which she did) but it was only for about a week when she let me come home. She just needed some time to think about it and process what had just happened. Is there any particular reason why you might think she is homophobic at all? You could bring up LGBT related topics up (in passing) and see how she reacts to that. No matter how normal you try to act, she will still know something's up. She has mom feelies that detect all of that stuff.
She's not particularly homophobic. Shes just really bad about making snide remarks and she knows I get offended when she does. I honestly believe me being gay is the last thing she would expect. I've put on a fairly good show of playing straight in front of her. I'm sure it would be a complete shock to her. She's always very adamant about wanting a son in law and grandkids. She firmly believes that anyone who's not straight is "a waste." I've heard her say it several times. I'm not sure how she'd react and that's what terrifies me.
Ooooo... I have heard that phrase from a friend of mine that is kind of like a mom to me. "That man is so attractive, such a shame he is gay. What a waste." She knew I was questioning whether I was gay and it didn't even cross her mind what she was saying. My mom suspected me even before I knew I had a need to "play straight" so you really might be surprised that it might not be too out of the blue. I do think there is a way to keep your male friend info out of it and still tell your mom that you are "questioning" or whatever. I was chicken and said "questioning" instead of gay or lesbian but I kind of know she would have doubted me either way. She of course immediately said she just thought I hadn't found the right guy yet. It has helped with just that little bit of honesty!
Hi, Mom's NEVER get off your back. They will interfere and try to oversee, give you advice for the rest of their lives. You have to set boundaries and stick by your boundaries. Trust me.
