hey needing some advice on coming out

Hello and welcome to EC!

I am pretty new too! When you say you have been realizing more things, what "things" if you feel comfortable elaborating? I also struggled with "questioning" and posted in the support section with that as the orientation I went with as a sort of non label and also chimed in on other threads.

Do you feel romantically attracted to women, like you would like to be in a relationship at some point? Do you feel fulfilled with your current boyfriend or does it feel forced?

I felt it helped reading threads dealing with topics I related to and I am sure tons of people will give you great advice! Threads related to "denial" and "questioning" helped me personally but you might certain specifics you want to ask. Either way glad you are here! This site is perfect for just getting info but also experience and support.

 

Hi JK, I am going pretty much through the same thing, although I am married with a child. I never really realised I was into girls until relatively recently, even though all the evidence stacks up pretty convincingly now. I don't know how your relationship is, but I'm pretty unfulfilled in mine, very in fact. I love my husband but only as a friend, I don't even feel emotionally close to him anymore and I probably haven't for years. I don't want to touch or even hug him anymore. It's not that I don't want a loving relationship, it's just that I don't want one with a man, I don't feel like a man can offer me what I need, either emotionally or physically...plus the fact that I'm not in any way attracted to men nowadays.

I have confided in various people, this websight being one of the places. It's difficult in the real world though unless you happen to know gay or bi people you can talk to. I haven't found a straight person that I feel comfortable talking to yet. The straight people I've told about myself have been fine, not judgemental, but they don't understand. I think straight people seem to universally take the view that having sexual and romantic feelings towards people of the same sex is a fad and will pass. I don't believe this is the case with me though. The amount of mentle wrestling I have done trying to keep it at bay is unbelievable, it hasn't worked though. Anything that determined to force its way into my mind must be pretty damn powerful.

I wish I had something practical to tell you, then I could take the same advice myself. Sometimes though, just knowing others are in the same boat is comforting in itself.

 

You are definitely not alone! You could prob repost in the "Support" section and get tons of feedback and support. This section seems to be more random. Also if you post of Ianthe and Kay's walls they have been so helpful to me personally. They are in my "friends" list.

And friend them if you are up to it! I even snoop and read my friends walls as I hear others do just to get even more help. Most of the people I friended are questioning or recently decided on the "lesbian" label. I just had sooooooo many questions :lol: