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Need Some Helpful Advice

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by butterfly68, Feb 20, 2013.

  1. butterfly68

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2013
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Grant MI
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Three months ago I started up a friendship with a guy online who goes to school the state I live but actually lives in another. We had intended to become sexual friends in the future. Then in December just after he went home for the holidays to be with family, his mom suddenly died and everything went crazy. I didn't have a problem helping him deal with the loss because I'm a widow and felt I could help him out with the knowledge I'd gained from my own situation. Plus I was really starting to care for him and suspected I may be falling for him too. At first his only issue was feeling weird about having sex again. I told him this was totally normal and in time his desire to be with someone sexually would come back. Then a week ago he tells me something I wasn't looking for. He had developed a friendship with a guy who had managed to talk him into doing oral sex on him once he was drunk. At first he was completely shocked that he was doing this because he never considered himself bisexual or gay. Then his friend talked him talked him into performing oral sex on other guys he knew while being drunk again. Eventually he was talked into having his first anal experience. In his latest email, he apologized for being such a screw up and that he can't be with me anymore because he's into guys. He seems to be convinced that he's suddenly gay. One of the guys did bring a girlfriend over that he and the rest of the guys did have sex with but he claimed he really wasn't into even though he did get release from it. I've talked to a few friends about this to see what they thought and they have told me to just be a good support friend. I'm trying so hard to be understanding of what I feel is just a phase he's going through. My gut tells me not to give up on being his future lover. I don't care that he's into guys I'll share, I've considered myself bi-curious for years but if he's still attracted to me sexually I still want the opportunity to be his lover at some point in the future. What should I do?