Some background: she is a childhood friend who recently re-entered my life. Obviously, she doesn't know my orientation, and she has tried setting me up several times with her friends. This past weekend, she brought another one of her friends into town and introduced us. I was myself, and never flirted or showed much interest past being friends. Well, her friend is coming back into town and messages me on Facebook inviting me out on a hike. She is pursuing me, and I will likely tell her that I am busy this weekend. She added me to Facebook the day after we met, and I'm tired of attracting women like her. I can tell she is controlling. All of my ex girlfriends have a dating history of dating weak-willed guys, who are easy to manipulate. In my case, I have never had a solid self-esteem or confidence due to the nature of being closeted. I can honestly say I don't trust women with my emotional, or physical being. I have a couple of friends who are girls that I trust emotionally, but only a few. It's been 5 hours since she has messaged me, and I don't want to be rude. I'm good at wearing masks, so I'm sure I'll think of a good excuse. It just bugs me that I have to stave women like this away. I feel like an asshole for some reason, and I know I don't deserve to feel this way.
I know how you feel I hang around guys so much that my friends start making assumptions and trying to get me to date them & it's even worse know that I told my parents I'm gay and my father thinks I just haven't met the right person. He's made me go on 7 dates so far with guys. I'd honestly suggest you talk to your friend about it. I'm not saying you should out yourself, that is something you need to decide when the time is right. Best of luck, I'll be hopping for a good outcome for you.
Thanks. She never asks me beforehand. It's always something she texts AS I am going to meet her somewhere, "hey, I invited [blah blah].". I sense that she has told her friends that I'm single, etc. before they show up, just by their general approach to conversation. If that's the case, I don't know why she keeps me in the dark about it. It's too late to reply tonight - it'll look like I was being indecisive. I'm replying in the morning that I have to go do [blah blah blah] all weekend. Now, if I had a friend who would try setting me up with males, that would be a good deal. It's hard enough picking guys out of a crowd that are gay, at least the type I'm in to. Not to say I haven't been attracted to guys I thought weren't my type.
You should tell her that you feel uncomfortable with set up dates and that you are waiting for it to happen naturally. Don't let her push you into something you don't want. Good friends don't push other friends into bad situations. If she doesn't respect your space then you need to tell her that. Good luck with the boys.
