A question about my sexuality: I remember having a crush on my best friend in 5th grade and I didn't think much about it and it was years before my mind would revisit that. In my late teens and early twenties I felt positive I was hetero. I just had moments, few and far between, where I really wanted to hook up with a guy and that my sexuality was just that - it need no further explanation. Cool. I had hooked up with a guy or two, and I really enjoyed giving oral but that was about it. It probably would have happened more if I could get past men's facial structure. I'm all about the neck and below nearly 100% of the time but the face is a big turn off. This past week I've spent a TON of free time on dating sites looking at guys exclusively. I've never felt more bi than I am now but I'm afraid to meet up with any of them that don't fit my physical standards perfectly; men's facial structures still get at me. But I've gotten much more lenient in that sense, and I'm trying to put myself in real situations; "what if at a friend's house you re-enter the room to see HER talking and getting to know your friends? But this time the her is a HIM?" It feels great, if the guy is right. I'm worried I'm going to burn myself out on this topic like I have a time or two before followed by a good 2 month stent of kidding myself that I'm exclusively into the opposite sex only. I've never felt this bothered or confused about my sexuality. I'm not sure if it's my upbringing and a repressive heteronormative culture that is doing this to me or if it's my extreme leftwing, anarchist, social principles telling me that heterosexuality is a construct when it really isn't. Personally, I really hope and hope I can just stick to identifying as bisexual and find confidence with it. AND A BANANA FOR GOOD MEASURE (!)
