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How to deal with a liar.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Thewitt, Feb 21, 2013.

  1. Thewitt

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    So I share a dorm with five other guys. Everything has been pretty great. We all get along well and do have any issues between us. However over this past day, it has come to my realization the one of my roommates, lets call him, M has been lying. I mean he lies a lot! Its so bad its to the point where almost everything that comes out his mouth is a lie. What bother me the most is that he lies about the smallest things. It just is not necessary. He also has done some really immature pranks specifically towards me and lied and blamed it on my other roommates, which I believed. I am just at my breaking point. The thing is I dont want to confront him because I dont want to mess up the dynamic of our dorm. It is very laid back and a one on one conversation wouldnt be effective with him. So how do I deal with him?
     
  2. skiff

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    Insecurity. He wants acceptance, feels inferior and will lie to gain acceptance.

    Take him aside, tell him your friendship for him as he stands without the lies and his lies are jeopardizing your respect for him.

    Curious... Is the physically the smallest of the five guys? Possibly tied to small man syndrome.

    Build him up so he knows lies are not necessary to earn your respect and friendship.

    Stuck
     
  3. Thewitt

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    I was told he dosent trust me because I am friends with and ex of his so he feels that I tell her everything about what he say. Which isnt true. Also I dont think its small man syndrome he is extremely confident with himself. Honestly, I never cared whether I was his friend or not its the respect thing. I have done nothing to give any reason to do the things he has done. Ya know? Idk its just i dont think a one on one conversation is going to get him to stop lying overnight
     
  4. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Hi

    Over confidence and aggressiveness are over compensations in some small men.

    Stuck
     
  5. Minx

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    I'd ignore him.

    Be cordial if you have to, but don't engage in any conversation beyond small chitchat. :slight_smile:
     
  6. Sarah1

    Sarah1 Guest

    I've had a couple friends like this. one in particular would exaggerate and lie when she was drunk. but I didn't hold it against her cuz she didn't mean to.. it was never anything vindictive she just had a problem.

    another friend of mine had the same problem and I heard he broke down to his gf crying cuz he couldn't stop himself.
     
  7. MrPotato

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    um, people like this don't really change no matter how much we try to make them see their mistakes... my sister is a complete and utter manipulative and lying person.

    I think that "stuck mistake" gave some really good advice... the best thing would be to talk things straight with him. But be careful since he can turn the whole house against you.
     
  8. BudderMC

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    You want something to change, but you don't want to change the dynamic of the dorm?

    Isn't that a bit of a contradictory statement?

    Have you addressed with any of your roommates that he's a big liar and that it's a problem?