He sorry this is so long! See the capitaletters if you want to skip details! Thanks for the help! Okay, so the church at the church I have been going to the past few years, I have made alot of friends and such, but one has stuck out above the rest. Anyway when I first came I don't think he liked me at all (not like as in a crush but as in he disliked me) anyway after freshman year he got to know me a little better and I got to know him. Anyway he is a leader in our youth group, and is perhaps one of the most religious people I have ever meet. Once he didnt talk to one of our mutual friends for a week because she said she would probably drink a but in college. Anyway I really can't describe how religious he is cuz you'd really have to meet him to understand, which is the problem. Anyway over the course of the past couple of years he has always been there for me, and he brought me out of my suicidal mind set. Anyway so naturally ever since he started helping me with my life I have started I guess the word would be "liking" him. Anyway my friend plays lots of sports, and will probably be going to college with a scholarship. He also has almost a 4.0. He is rediculous! But ya girls have always been drawn to him. I'm not bad with the ladies, but I have to try! (I have since quit as I have come to realize I am I fact gay). He can just walk I to a room and the girls will swoon. He is currently a junior however, and he has never had a GIRLFRIEND or KISSED a girl. Occosianay a girl will have a thing with him but it's always lopsided and it seems he just kind of leaves them when they get to physical. Now I have always thought that this was just because he was religious, but now I wonder, could he be gay? As of this summer he has loosened up alot and is actually fun to hang with. Every time we hangout I grow more and more attached to him and it seems the same is Happenkng to him. He has told me noonelse makes him laugh like I do, and when he is with me he has this smile he dosnt have anyother time. Even a girl noticed it. Anyway If you don't wanT TO READ THE WHOLE THING START HERE PLEASE! recently he has been more and more physical. For example my girl friend(long story) him, and I were all driving home in the back of a van from a youth event and he gently grabbed me and leaned me towards his chest so that I was resting on him. And my girlfriend was resting on me. Stuff like that happens all the time. Whenever we hang out in Group he tries to sit next to me or get close. Anyway this is really long so I'm just going to give some better examples, thanks so much if your reading all of this <3 1. We all had a sleepover at a friends house, and he made frequent jokes that if there were not enough beds, he and I could share. The. At night he moved his air matress up to mine effectively making a queen bed. Any way while I was sitting up he put his arm on my bed so when I layed back down it would be around me. I made a joke and he puled it off, but he then later put his arm on my chest and instead of making a joke I put my arm on his. After a bit we were pretty much spooning and he called me gay and rolled over. But he made moves like that all night. 2. At a movie night at my house I was squished so I put my arms around him but not on him. He then moved my hand and arm so that I would be putting my arm and hand on him. 3. He sends highly flirty messages with gay jokes, but then right as things get too "gay" he changes the subject or makes a joke about gays going to hell. Then he rings up his girl problems(a reason I'm not sure if he is gay) 3. He sent me a picture of himself half naked and asked I liked what I saw. He has done that several times. In summary he always tries to hang with me, tries to make physical contact whenever he can, sends me flirty messages, asks me about my day etc, and ways asks what I have done with my girl friend, kind of like how a jelous girl would ask. And he texts me merely everyday if I Havnt texted him. Once again he is very religious, and loves his family,who are also very religious. I don't think he could stand not havin the approval of his family. What do y'all think? Is he gay? Is he so religious that he can't come to grips with his feelings or is this all wishful thinking?
if he's the one doing it then i would say he is definitely into you, but its not going to happen, he's in ultra denial. he kind of flops up when he does those things with you but when he catches himself he buds off.
To me it sounds like he definitely has feelings for you. Obviously, if he is gay he doesn't want anyone to know and he sounds like the kinda guy who would go as far as to marry and have kids even if he is gay, because of what he believes. He probably doesn't want anyone to ever know. Maybe you could indirectly talk to him about? I know how hard that would be though, I live in a very religious home, and I know how people can be at church, etc. If I were you I would try to talk about it a bit if the opportunity arises.
Ya that's what I have figured. Idk at this point he is the only guy that would be worth coming out for...... Plus I'm worried that if he finds out I'm gay, rather than our relationship continuing he might se me as like a temptation and push me away :/ Plus a year ago he wouldn't even talk to you if you used gods name in vain, but now he's chill with it all! Do you think he will come around? ---------- Post added 21st Feb 2013 at 04:26 PM ---------- Idk do you think it would be worthwhile talking to him? I mean if he is in denial all it would do is piss him off..... Plus maybe if I let him loosen up some more before talking to him ill get a better response? Thanks y'all!
Why not talk to him about your own sexuality questions. It may help both of you. God does not care about male/female only we act out of love. He obviously likes you, trusts you, and wants to be in physical contact with you. A good basis to move forward from gay or straight. We all should have more friends like that. I envy you.
Ya, maybe let him loosen up a bit more. But like you said, coming out could make him push you away cause he thinks you are a temptation. Do you even agree with him a little bit, about being gay and hell, etc? But I definitely think it is worth it.
lol this situation sounds awesome....I also envy you. Lol. Discuss some things for mutual gain. Ask him what his opinion is on sexuality. I did that and it gave me a clear indication of who I should come out to, how and when. It's a good strategy, just remain neutral at the start. Good luck.
I think he is into you. Unfortunately denial is one of the hardest things to overcome, if it is ever overcame. So, you are going to have to be patient. And even willing to deal with tough times. He may get angry at times, he may stop communicating or even tell you that you can't be friends, but, if he really is worth it to you, you have to overlook those "outbursts" and instead of getting angry back at him, be sympathetic .
Thanks, and that's the reason I don't want to screw this up. And he doesn't believe in the whole god cares about love, our church isn't strict baptist, but it is still baptist at it's roots. :/ Thanks for the input though! I really appreciate it ---------- Post added 21st Feb 2013 at 10:07 PM ---------- I am currently agnostic, but I did formerly agree with him. Idk though it's a scary thought! What are your thoughts on the whole hell thing? ---------- Post added 21st Feb 2013 at 10:07 PM ---------- I am currently agnostic, but I did formerly agree with him. Idk though it's a scary thought! What are your thoughts on the whole hell thing? ---------- Post added 21st Feb 2013 at 10:08 PM ---------- I am currently agnostic, but I did formerly agree with him. Idk though it's a scary thought! What are your thoughts on the whole hell thing? ---------- Post added 21st Feb 2013 at 10:10 PM ---------- Haha thanks he is great friend but other than that the situation sucks! Haha And I could ask him but I'm pretty sure he doesn't even think he is gay..... ---------- Post added 21st Feb 2013 at 10:12 PM ---------- I guess that's true! Thanks
