1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Leaving on spring break...need advice

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Andrew1403, Mar 13, 2008.

  1. Andrew1403

    Andrew1403 Guest

    well im leaving on spring break this saturday for a week and returning next saturady.I am going down to cancoon with my dad and staying at an all inclusive major resort called the Moon Palace. I was just wondering if i should try to meet anyone down there? Im deathly afraid of gettin HIV from some random guy,cause i still have my whole life infront of me and dont want to ruin it by gettin that disease.I dont know if i should persue anything sexual until i am in a relationship with someone iv known for a long time. Is HIV that prominant? Im scared that if i experience anything with a guy down in cancoon that he may be HIV+ and not know it himself...since alot of people who have HIV dont know they have it until they give it to someone else.:icon_sad: (FUCKED UP MOVIE CALLED..."KIDS"..a guy goes around new york giving HIV to young virgin girls cause he dosent know he has HIV)

    I am scared about that, this is the first vacation that i am going on with just my dad and not the rest of my family, my mom, and younger brohter are going down there the following week while my dad will stay down there for a whole 2 weeks (1 week with me, and 1 week with them, cause our spring breaks were different dates) but i have to return back to the states after a week cause my spring break ends. This is the first time that i will beable to be on my own for some of the time without haveing my 2 straight brothers around me, i dunno what i should do?:icon_sad: I am scared that if i have a good experience with another guy that it will end up being my last!:icon_sad: cause of me getting HIV?

    What do you guys suggest? what have you done on previous vacations? or even other times not on vacation? did you get involved with anyone? I would really like to experience something with another guy, since i have not had that experience yet, only with girls in the past:icon_sad::icon_sad: And what are some tips/pointers on finding other gay guys or knowing that they are gay? i can mostly only identify other gay guys if they are flambouently gay or lispy...im no good at knowing if someone is gay sadly unless they fit some of the stereotypes:icon_sad:
     
  2. acorn7

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2007
    Messages:
    568
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Montreal
    Phew, you ask a lot and I can help you much, but I'll do my best. First of all, safe sex, always always always. No unprotected sex. None.

    Personally, I rarely go on big trips ( :frowning2: ) and normally just end up with annoying American 5-year-olds on the beach in Maine or stuck in the middle of the Quebec forest. So no big meeting opportunities :wink:

    My best advice is to just do what you think is right. If you meet a gay guy there that seems nice, and you get along well, and he wants it and you want it, I would say I don't see the problem in experimenting. But be aware it'll probably be a one-night stand and you won't be able to maintain a relationship. Besides, the guy might be a jerk.

    That's the best I can do... most importantly, enjoy your trip!
     
  3. Quitex

    Quitex Guest

    First: MAN! YOu're going to Cancun, one of the most beautiful beaches on the Mexican Atlantic Coast! The only thing that I should reccomend you is: Think for the best but prepare for the worst.

    Think for the best: You're going to spend a great time! the Cancun resorts, in my experience working for one of the biggest hotels and resorts websites, are full of stuff to do. Just the pools, the trips around the beach, oh the FOOD!, the surf, the each sports, oooh! Really let me tell you, it is going to be awesome!

    Prepare for the worse: Always carry with you protection - a pair of Condoms. Heh, it's a resort. They sell them over there so there is no worry (Seen those condom vending machines? They have of those - Beware, they're more expensive than buying them from a store) but if you're going outside the resort always carry one or two for safety. Also remember that having... sex does not mean a great time. Meeting people, drinking for a while, a fireplace on the beach, I dunno... there are plenty of fun stuff to do without risking yourself.

    Also, even if he's the cutest thing in the world but he doesn't want to get protected, don't hesitate to answer NO. I think that "no" is your best friend. If you feel the situation is getting out of control and he (or they - who knows) doesn't want to use protection, say NO.

    And the most important thing is: Have fun! As I already told you, there are pleeeenty of cool and fun stuff to do on the resort that doesn't require sexual contact, you know :wink:
    Que la pases bien!

    Edited: I totally forgot your last paragraph. Are you like... obvious? Because if you have trouble trying to find them, why not making their job easier so they can find you? I dont know but the first thing that comes to my mind is a rainbowish bathsuit :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
    If you're bad in getting hints, give hints. If you see a group of guys flirting, try to join them! If they turn gay, BINGO. If not, well, do some friends! This experiences will help your social skills a lot and well meeting new friends is as exciting as meeting someone you'll get intimate with, you know :wink:
    And don't get desesperated. If you're too anxious to have experience, you'll find yourself in trouble. Take it easy! I bet you'll find someone, but don't rush the things up!

    Side note: Try the morning buffets, If they open the buffee at 7:30, try to get there by 8:00, or else you'll find yourself in a sea of people. The waiters like good tips, but remember that they work with Mexican pesos so a normal tip cut it by half, that should be enough :wink:

    Jean.
     
    #3 Quitex, Mar 14, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 14, 2008
  4. Andrew1403

    Andrew1403 Guest

    thanks for some of that advice...i know alot about the resort and that stuff...2nd time im going their..and i know i can have fun without being sexual...but umm if things did get sexual..what do you guys think about oral sex? would you give head to a guy that youv only known for a few days? is that safe? (scared i will get HIV from giving head) or should i wait till im in a relationship with someone back home for oral?:confused: lol this is a funny thread:icon_bigg
     
  5. Quitex

    Quitex Guest

    Haha indeed. I must be inspired today, lol.

    Giving oral may be one of the most awesome experiences as I've heard. (Is in the top of my list!) Oral sex is dangerous since you can get HIV if you have an open wound on your mouth. My advice is to use a condom (Flavored ones are meant to be done for oral sex!). I know, I know It's not the same as without a condom, but safety first! Again, it's not a matter of waiting until you have a relationship, its waiting until you really feel preparedf to, and don't be too impatient!

    Oh God, can we meet there :wink: just joking :O :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Would I give head to a guy I've met for a few days? If he uses a condom, yes. If not, no.
     
  6. Paul_UK

    Paul_UK Guest

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2004
    Messages:
    6,885
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    There is a section here http://emptyclosets.com/home/pages/resources/stds/hiv-and-aids-part-2.php about oral sex which says:

    (That info is from a booklet created by the NSW HIV/AIDS Information Line)

    My take on this would be that if you have no sores or ulcers in your mouth and don't have a sore throat, and if the guy's personal hygiene is OK (no dick-cheese under the foreskin) and has no sores etc, the risk is extremely low. It is a risk that I and I think many gay people are prepared to take.
     
  7. Andrew1403

    Andrew1403 Guest

    does that mean its ok to give head but not swallow? i think just having cum in your mouth from someone who is HIV+ then you will get HIV too ..

    some of that information is helpful...but i though some of it is innaccurate aswell...it states that HIV is at low risk of transmission for oral sex and is only at risk if you have open cuts or sores in the mouth...the truth is...that if someone is HIV+ ,you can get it from just coming in contact with it through semen/cum and other bodily fluids even if their is no sore or cuts in the mouth...
    "if the person receiving oral sex ejaculates in the mouth of the person performing oral sex;" high risk of transmission...

    i think im just gona wait till i meet someone special and begin a relationship before i get into oral...my loss i guess...just too scared of the risk of HIV transmission in performing oral sex...anyways im gettin on the plane in less than 1 hour...gotta make sure im all packed...bye everyone:lol:
     
  8. Quitex

    Quitex Guest

    Bye, and Have fun!
    And well, I'm happy that you're being very responsable with your sexuality, you may have a hug for that! (*hug*)
     
  9. Paul_UK

    Paul_UK Guest

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2004
    Messages:
    6,885
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    It seems that definitive figures and facts on oral sex are not readily available, because of lack of verifiable research based on people who just have oral sex and nothing else. Here are some pages I found while googling for info.

    http://www.tht.org.uk/informationresources/safersex/oralsex/

    http://www.aidsmap.com/en/docs/C858FF44-5E81-4F59-8030-B5A3C7A93654.asp

    http://www.gay.com/health/hiv/?sernum=1869

    http://www.gay.com/health/safetyzone/article.html?sernum=2953

    I will ask KaraBulut to review the articles in the health and STD parts of the resources section. JayHew did check the one I linked to and felt it was good accurate information.
     
  10. KaraBulut

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2008
    Messages:
    1,542
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    US
    There have been a few documented cases of HIV transmission from oral. It's very hard to be 100% sure because most the of people that were studied had done other things besides oral. Every case of HIV infection that I have seen over the past 25 years was most likely transmitted via unprotected anal sex. The information in the link that Paul_UK gave you on the risk of HIV transmission in oral is correct- it falls into the "low" category.

    Keep in mind that HIV is only one of a number of STDs. Some pepole do choose to use condoms with oral to avoid gonorrhea, chlamydia and other STDs that are more common in your age group. It is possible to get these STDs in your throat- chlamydia of the throat is common in the college-age crowd.

    Condoms should always be used during anal sex. For oral sex, condoms are a personal choice. The safest option is to avoid exchanging body builds- the "On me, Not in me" rule.


    This is the ideal situation. There's never a rush to have sex. What I would wish for everyone is that they have their first time with someone that is special. The first time being with another person is too important to have with a stranger in a foreign country while you are on Spring Break.

    When you return to Mn, start meeting guys, date, get to know the other person and develop trust with them before you jump into bed. Dating should be fun. Getting to know another person should be fun. And if you happen to fall in love- well that's a great thing. I think that you will find that when you get to know the other person and you like each other, then the rest will happen naturally.

    I'm not sure if you will have internet access while you're in Cancun but enjoy your time in the sun, relax and have a good time with your family while you are there.