OK, so me and "Joe" are going to fool around tomorrow (69, jerk, hold hands, etc.) I have 2 problems however: 1) We can't date yet because he said he wants his first kiss to be with a girl. 2) For some reason I get stage fright! Like I'm SO turned on by him, but when we start talking about it and getting (now I'm referring to another guy I've "experimented" with) ready to do it, my mind thinks to much and I can't get up!!! It's so annoying, and I want Joe so bad I'm just worried about this. Any advice on how to help this would be great
(1) is so irrational that I can't even respond. (2) I really feel ya. Nervousness has screwed with me as well. It's called performance anxiety. What I think you should do is just some fun, non-threatening introductory things. Simple physical contact is good. Hugging and cuddling can be quite exciting and break down those worries.
(2) performance anxiety is effing annoying!!! I get it with guys and girls....eventhough when I'm by myself thinking about the person I get rockhard boners and then when it's time to get down - nothing. I feel ya. Just get rid of it by being physical.
If you're old enough to drink, maybe have a couple drinks to relax or maybe meditate. I've had performance anxiety a few times, but eventually I got it up. During my deep-rooted denial days when I "tried" with girls, I would either never get it up or would depending on how comfortable I was. I lacked sexual attraction, but when relaxed and comfortable, our bodies respond really well to sensation and touch.
Try cuddling before the act to get a little less nervous, I love my boyfriend for doing that for me. Also, if you guys end up doing more than fooling around, eg. anal, please, to help yourself, clean your anus before the act and use plenty of lube and a condom. Have fun!
Don't worry too much about 'not getting it up'. Nervousness is normal, don't be ashamed if you have to take it slow. A good guy will understand. When I first decided I'm bi/gay (like a month ago lol) I basically hooked up with the first guy I could. I'm in my mid 20s and didn't want to waste any more time! It was fine the first couple times we met, although it took me a long time to actually get off cause I was so nervous. The third time it came to trying anal (me being the top) - I could NOT for the life of me get it up. We hung out again and just cuddled, kissed and talked. It was really the most enjoyable time for both of us. Cuddling can be very intimate, even more than sex. Just don't put pressure on yourself! Only do what you're ready for and stay in the moment. Don't think about the 'ending' - just concentrate on your senses and what you're feeling at that very moment. Sex is not a performance, it is an experience and it will be different every time. Just remember that. If you can't get it up, just focus on him - I'm sure he will appreciate it.
Thanks That's what I'm worried about because we've been talking about fooling around for a while and if we don't he'll disappointed and try to get me up. Wow that's very recent; I myself started really accepting it like 3 months ago. Wow that sucks...I mean thinking of him and what we could do and anal and all gives me a boner, it's just too much thinking when we get there. I think maybe we could just cuddle? That really is GREAT advice; to just let whatever happens happen and go with the moment. Thanks again so much man this really helps and is great advice
