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Having problems with school...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by RemyLeBeau, Feb 22, 2013.

  1. RemyLeBeau

    RemyLeBeau Guest

    I'm in virtual schooling, but for two of my classes (one that I'm currently failing due to this stupid problem), I have to record or photograph myself.

    Guys, I'm pretty ugly. I mean, it's a fact. I can't bear to look in the mirror long enough to brush my teeth, and photos make me incredibly anxious. IF I manage to look at myself for too long, I start getting incredibly depressed, to the point I've felt really bad urges to cut myself and other things like that and all the "self confidence" BS I finally started doing is gone because I just really hate my stupid face.

    In any case, I've tried explaining this to my art teacher, because the LAST thing I want to do is look at AND draw myself. Just trying to do it for extra credit last semester sent me into spiralling depression, and now that I HAVE to, I've been dealing with urges to cut myself, do things I probably shouldn't admit, get myself killed, etc. I've tried explaining how uncomfortable this is to my teacher (without getting into the self harm BS), who insists now that I send her a picture of me so she can tell me whether I'm ugly or not. This was NOT a part of the assignment before and I'm feeling incredibly defensive that she suddenly added it JUST for me.

    What can I do? This and a ton of other BS has had me crying non stop for almost 24 hours now, and I seriously need to be "happy" because if I don't my parents are going to be pissed off at me and I won't be allowed to go to my half brother's b-day party and I just seriously need help for this nonsense....
     
  2. BudderMC

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    I don't know about the rules and whatnot for online schooling, so you might want to read up and see if she can actually "add" requirements onto assignments like that.

    For the main assignment, what exactly does it describe? Could you photograph yourself in a creative manner instead? I hate being in pictures because I don't think I'm overly attractive, but I love doing silhouettes and whatnot. If you play with lighting, maybe you can get some really cool effects that mask who you are enough to submit your assignment.
     
  3. RemyLeBeau

    RemyLeBeau Guest

    I have to take a picture of myself, and then I have to draw myself realistically with emotion. I'd be so cool with an abstractish picture even of myself, but nooope, it has to be realistic. I'm not even allowed to wear my welding goggles or normal sunglasses...
     
  4. Argentwing

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    I doubt I've ever met an 18 year old that is too ugly to look at. Even the worst looking teenagers are about average, which isn't even in the same hemisphere as depression-inducing.

    Could it be you just have unrealistic expectations for your looks? Everybody thinks they're ugly in some way, and chances are others see you as much prettier than you see yourself. Besides, it's nobody's business what you look like in an online class to begin with. The picture is for practicing art skills, not for public judgment.
     
  5. Chrissouth53

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    I think we all have images of ourselves that are less than what we actually are.

    Look... if you HAVE to have a picture taken, why not have a friend give you some advice about looking better. Maybe a hair cut, maybe certain clothes. Look the best you can, take the picture and draw yourself... maybe draw yourself the way you WANT to look.
     
  6. RemyLeBeau

    RemyLeBeau Guest

    I got out of having to take my picture AND out of drawing myself. She's suddenly gone from friendly to almost harsh sounding, but whatever, I can draw someone else now.

    I don't know, I'm pretty sure it's just simply that I'm ugly as fuck and I don't like drawing ugly things. No big deal. Idk how my girlfriend puts up with it but oh well. Problem solved.
     
  7. Argentwing

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    You have a girlfriend. People do not date those whom they think are "ugly as fuck." I'm glad your problem has been solved, but it sounds like a backdoor solution that is ignoring the root of the problem, which *hint* isn't your actual looks. :/