I have a big group of friends, we used to go out every week, but recently we've all grown apart. 1 has found a girlfriend and I don't see him anymore, and 1 has a new job and a completely new life, 2 have become friends with an old friend, and I feel really left out and alone. There are other people in this group, but I don't get on with them as well, and when I go out with them without my main friends, it's just not the same. I mean, I am moving on myself, I have joined an LGB group and I am volunteering for an LGB network, but I don't think I'm making real progress with either of them, which just brings me back to square one. How can I move on from friends that are moving on from me?
It's hard. I don't know about you, but I realised that I've been friends with my current friends for a long time. So, it's being an incredibly long time since I've even had to make new friends. And I struggle with that a lot! It's like I've actually forgotten how to socially interact with new people. I don't know if this is what you're feeling when you say you're not making real progress with either of them, but that's how I feel at the moment, so maybe there are some parallels. But how do you move on? You just have to make new friends. And it's really hard to make friends who you are comfortable with. Making friends is hard work — full stop. You need to put in a lot of effort, but it pays off. What I find at the moment is that for every five or six "friendships" I put effort into, I get a good return and a good friend from just one of them, but it normally is worth it. What's your own theory on why you're not making progress with either the group or the network? You just don't get on with them or what? Not your type of people?
