Why does no one pay attention to me?

The exact things happened
to me when I was on middle
school. Things are a bit
better now. I hope things
get better for you. O¢O

I also used cut and tried
to kill myself. Not worth
trying, PLEASE don't do
it, PLEASE. There are
already too many
siucides.

 

You should not kill yourself! Life is a pile of crap and I've been there, believe me! Don't give up on you though, it's waaayy too early for that! I sent you a friend request and although I'm getting ready for sleep you can talk to me if you'd like.

 

Well, you have to take in account it's a Friday evening, and this section isn't very active at the moment as others are out and about offline, or they're chilling in chitchat.

 

I know it's a cliche to say this but high school just sucks. Whoever says it is the best time of your life ends up having a pretty lame life in my opinion. Those people normally get married to high school sweethearts, have kids to impose their dreams and issues on and then wake up one day and say where did the time go?

I checked out your song! It is seems to convey a ton of emotion and that is not easy. It is authentic and good! I noticed you have a few likes and subscribers so obv others agree

All my friends that felt isolated in high school, lonely, angst-filled, depressed, etc all ended up becoming amazing artists though most of their friends didn't get them in high school. And you shouldn't give up on any of your passions. Writing, music, singing can all be a way to channel your true self...or explore fun alternate selves.

As for the lies or cutting for attention, I didn't go that route but tried other ways that never worked to my benefit. The best way I found to get acceptance was to accept myself first...work on stuff I loved and then people came around. I am still working on the acceptance part obv since I am freaking 30 something and just coming to terms with my sexuality. You sound like you are better on that path!

Not sure if you watch that adult swim show Metalocalypse but that dude had few friends in high school and hated his appearance and then went to music school and then did some pretty awes cartoons referencing it all. That was awes revenge. And it actually isn't done in anger so he is happy now just doing what he does and sort of helping people that were like him.

 

Man I'm so sorry, you have it pretty bad. But, I wouldn't lay around in a pool of self-pity, you really need to get out there and make a friend. I know that isn't easy, but the first step is being yourself, NOT doing things for attention, or lying. What is a relationship if it is just built off lies? It isn't even real.

And about your home life.. I'm really sorry. Is there anyway you could see a Therapist? It seems like you have a lot of deep-rooted issues that can't be confronted unless you get help from someone else.

And don't even consider suicide!!!!!! That is RIDICULOUS :/ there are so many more possibilities to life than taking that route

 

There's been some good advice already, but I'll just add this:

As far as any kind of relationships go, people are more likely to want be around you, to listen to you, and care about what's going on with you if you get really interested in them. People don't just "get to have friends". You have to ask about other people's lives and care about what they think and say. It's easier to start a conversation that will last if it's not just all about you. It's a give and take process.

But don't give up on it! You're not doomed to be without friends, you just need to try a different approach.

 

You're a smart, articulate, talented, thoughtful guy. Not only in this post but your others, too.

You have so much going for you. This isn't about you, its about other people seeing who you are and your talents.

You sound so frustrated and I'm sorry for that. Keep working hard on the things that you like -- your music for sure. And don't be afraid to show off a little, to reach out to people so they get to know you and how cool you are.

Keep posting, we're here for you....(&&&)

 

@thedreamwatch said exactly what I forgot to mention, that is really good advice. You can't be selfish in a relationship, if everything is all about you, the friendship is pointless :/

 

You seem to be trying to fill a gap in your life with attention, but attention isn't what is going to fix it. What it sounds like you need are honest, meaningful connections with other people. Empty attention will not fulfill this need, which is probably why you keep feeling like you need more.

You need something to accomplish you can feel good about. Your music sounds like something you're really interested in. Go for it! Attack it. Immerse yourself in it. Find joy in the doing of it instead of the praise or recognition for doing. See any musical failures as learning experiences that are the steps you need to take to improve. Find others who share you love of music making. They will be your natural friends. Those friendships should blossom naturally if you are interested, genuine, and honest.

Be proactive! Pick the place to start and DO IT! We all are genuinely rooting for you.

 

If you think it's better to kill yourself, not true. Although it's a hard time right now, it will all be better in the end, if it's not better, then it's not the end. Simple. Right now, you just have to try to look at the bright side of things. My dad does ANYTHING to try to make my life miserable...you just have to stay strong and pull through. That's what will get to people the most. If they are doing so much to bring you down, but you stand strong, they will stop because they will notice that it's worthless. If you do that, your parents eventually will stop what they are doing. They will see you can stay strong in the middle of a crisis. And it doesn't matter how many people care about you right now, it's how many people will care about you later. Just wait, I'm sure you'll find someone likes you. Also don't change so people will like you. Be yourself so the right people will love the real you.

 

Okay so maybe you haven't found anyone in your school who shares your taste in music. That's fine. Though I would argue that a general passion for music would likely be enough. You don't need to like exactly the same bands, just to respect each others' preferences while still sharing a general love of music making.

How about joining a band/jam group outside of school in the genre that you like? Or group guitar lessons, which would help you learn with others while also forming bonds based on a similar interest? There are similarly interested individuals out there. You just have to find them. Maybe join a teen Meetup group for the genre of music that you like, or for guitar learners, or for song writers. When you share an interest you'll be less tempted to lie for attention. You'll just talk about that passion you have in common, and it will flow from there.

I understand the trust problems. I understand the anxiety problems. I've BEEN there! I didn't have any friends in high school. I was depressed, and lonely. I was bullied. The advice I'm giving you is what I discovered to get me out of that rut. This is what I started to do after high school to dig my way out of that lonely depression. And you know what? It worked. It really worked. But for it to work I had to start taking some action. I had to put myself out there. I had to be brave. And I had to take a few leaps of faith. I know you can do these things too. You just have to start. It's all about taking that first step, man.

 

I try to live the life that I want to get in return. I'm 20, and I've seen a lot in my life. Recently, I've discovered that it's really true - treat yourself as you want others to treat you.

How do you expect people to treat you so amazingly, when you lie to them and make up these stories?

I really want to be honest with you. I don't want to sugar coat it.

You won't get everything in this world. You may have the BEST song writing skills, but it doesn't mean you'll become famous. We just think so, because it seems like "everyone" is famous.

You need to find SOMETHING that makes you happy. Truly - if song writing or poetry makes YOU happy, then do it! Do not worry about what others think. I'm a photography buff and I'd like to think I'm a pretty good photographer. However, I never had my photography plastered all over. All the "art school" kids had their art all over. I was jealous. I never understood why people didn't go "oh my god, that's the greatest thing ever!" to my stuff.

But I realized why that all happened. Those kids needed the approval. They needed to know their life decision was ok. I didn't. And guess what? I recently did a family friend's birthday party and am going to do another party in the spring. It's not much, but I'm proud that people like my work enough to want me there!

My goal for you is to be able to realize that life isn't perfect. The Rolling Stones - You Can't Always Get What You Want - Live On Copacabana Beach - YouTube This is such a perfect song for this theme. You won't have a PERFECT life, but life is always, always, always, always worth living.

Never, ever, ever take your life. Your life is so important. It will get easier, but you just have to try. It is always worth living. Please - do not be so hard on yourself. Life will work out my friend. Just try your best!

 

You obviously have us here on EC to help you through these tough times. I was in a position similar to yours when I was younger and know how lonely it can be, but you can get through this. High-school students are jerks, I escaped through taking upper-level classes, in my experience the students in there are nicer people. If possible I would join a club; community service clubs are generally full of great people and give you the perfect excuse to get out and enjoy yourself and the feeling of accomplishment is a great bonus to self esteem. Everyone is good at something, you just have to find it. Try to explore every one of your interests (singing, songwriting, poetry, guitar, etc) and use them to express your feelings. Find something that you can use as an expressive outlet, and don't let other people's criticism limit you in any way. To use a famous example Albert Einstein, a great physicist and the man who gave us the Theories of General and Special Relativity, struggled in mathematics while in school and was told that he would never do good with math. The man went on to prove his critics wrong, he wrote a very math heavy explanation of the natural world. He basically said, "Screw you, your wrong, I can be great at whatever I want to be if I try hard enough." when he began his career in physics. He turned all of those negative comments into a passion that changed the world, and there is nothing special about his ability to do that. Anyone can do great things, turn the negativity and rejection you receive into fuel to drive you to try your hardest and do your best at everything that you do. Use your experiences and feelings as the raw materials with which to craft songs or poems or whatever you want. Strive to do better, to improve.

I hope that this at least helps with any self-esteem issues. Rather than focus on trying to get attention, focus on doing the best you can at what you do, then the attention will come to you.

 

Sorry if this is repetitive but you can find people through the things you love to do and the common interests you would discuss would be heartfelt and not "boring"... Plus, I can't see how you are boring.

I liked photography so I joined the photo club and yearbook staff and found people to go shoot projects with...I took guitar (bass) lessons and my instructor lead me to a girl looking to form a band. I really thought I wasn't good enough but the girl ended up being really supportive and patient because we both just loved music so much. And she went to another school so I would have never met her had I not started lessons at a local music shop. You are way better than I was/am at music btw. I can see how cliques at school doing these things can be intimidating but other so-called loners came out of he wood work once I just took the leap and took classes. The "popular" kids who played shows that everyone came to from jocks to punks etc were never really who I wanted to be like anyhow.

And like others have said...the emptiness often comes from not just being yourself. Like even with my sexuality I would pretend to be something I wasn't which might temporarily make me feel good...but after I had this crushing feeling of loneliness. And I was always insecure thinking everyone knew I was like this fraud or poser. If you are doing what you love and just sharing that interest with people and letting them share their interest with you, you get a fulfilling and lasting connection.

Is there a local music shop you could sign up for lessons? If you are interested in photography is there a summer program you can sign up for? Yearbook and literary magazines often have summer sessions to get ready for the next school year. I found a friend that way and we spent a few months practicing shoots on campus.

 

But if your not willing to try and improve things you can't expect people to just suddenly start liking you. You have to take that first step and move on, not wait around for things to change by themselves.