okay so im pretty sure i have anxiety but don't know like...what forum exactly. like social anxiety anyways for some reason here are my things , that give me anxiety or panic people touching my face. i hate when people touch me ....period....but if they touch my face , i will flinch or move away , like the other day , a friend of mine Maggie , came behind and put her hands over my eyes and i just froze....and the she kept touching my hair but i was still kind of freaked out because it was at random and i didn't know who the hell was parent conferences I don't know why....but whenever my dad goes to see my teachers while i'm in the room , i start to panic a little inside , i think it might because of my grades. if i am failing , my dad does the right thing and see the teacher but like he puts me down in front of the teacher...and when the teacher or my dad say something like "You got to be studying more , your not trying hard enough" My throat closes up and i start to feel myself choke up then i start to cry.... i don't know why i do that. Direct Confrontation (Mainly With Teachers) okay so another thing that freaks me out is direct confrontation. for example....My ex was spreading rumors about me and it got to the point where he turned my friends against me and finally one day , i broke. i went to lunch and cussed him out...then 4th block came and i got pulled out of class. I had to go the office and it turned out , this guy was suspending me for cussing Thomas out and i have never been suspended before but then all the sudden , i was trying to explain my reason but i was shaking inside , i was choking up...and i started to cry then he said he was going to call my dad. I wanted to tell him my reason but 1) he wouldn't listen to me 2) i was choked up so it was hard to talk another time was when i went to the counselor to have him stop talking about me and she told me to tell him what i said to her and she asked if i was ready to do that and i said that so Thomas (my ex) came into the room and he closed the door then it happened , i couldn't get my words out.....i was flushed with anger but inside i choked up and started crying....then The counselor didn't help me by saying "i thought you were going to tell him" i just can never get my words out when something like happens Driving I hate driving. It freaks me out. When i'm driving and my dad is in the passenger seat....he always yells at me while i'm driving. In general driving for me is hard and gives me a lot of anxiety. I have ADHD so its hard to focus all together and then i have my dad screaming at me if i do the littlest thing wrong so it makes me freak out inside Yelling/Screaming This is a big anxiety set off for me. When my dad yells at me in my face or if anyone does it , it really scares me. It makes me choke up and start asking my heart race. If my dad tries to hit me or kick while yelling in my face , i usually go into hyperventilation. I'll hyperventilate for an hour or so. Fighting or Someone getting hurt This is mostly verbal fighting. Like if My friends are arguing or seriously yelling at each other , it really scares me. For example , My friend Lauren was talking to my friend Elisha and Lauren was trying to save a spot for someone but Elisha was like "well she's not here so why cant i sit down" and they kept discussing it. they weren't even yelling , they were just using a serious tone with each other and it really scared me and made me want to run away or walk away. another thing is when someone gets hurt..... like , if I see one of my friend fall on the ground or something , immediately get scared and want to run away. It kind of chokes me up a bit. I'm pretty protective of girls so like i a friend or a girl about to fall , i automatically catch them or make sure they don't. Fast Movements or Loud Noises okay so a lot of friends think , its really funny to scare but i don't like it. like for example if i'm sitting at my table or desk and someone grabs something towards me or next to me. I will more than likely flinch. for example. One day I was sitting in art class and my friend bradley , wailed his the air (in frustration) and it scared the shit out of me . now loud noises do scary me. like if its silent and i hear a sudden noise...like the sound of a pencil dropping....it will make either flinch or make my blood pump. or like if everyone in a class room is talking and a textbook or something falls on the ground. i really don't like it People Behind Me i'll keep this short and sweet. if someone is behind me , i wont tolerate it. like if im walking and someones walking behind me , i'll have to let that person get in front of me. or like if im in the cafeteria or the classroom and if someone sits behind me , i'll sit to the side instead of full facing the front. Plans if one of my friends asks me to go to the mall with her ,go to a sleep over or meet up somewhere , i totally freak out inside and automatically lie and make up something. i don't know why really. i just am one of those girls i guess who like staying inside. \ I never hang out with people outside of school.....never. i always , always ...stay home on the weekends. but when someone asks me to hang out with them , i really freaks out although gender should not be a factor in this case , i freak out more easily when a female asks me. i'm so sorry if this is long but i don't know what my problem is..... i dont know why these things freak me out and give me anxiety thank you for reading and helping me out
You sound like me when I was 12-16. My anxieties were so bad that, unlike you, I actually wet the bed until I was 14. Eventually the problem fixed itself when I taught myself how to stand up for myself. I wouldn't suggest doing it my way though because in retrospect I was overly-aggressive. Anyways, I learned to deal with it by examining the factors around that made me feel so powerless and learning how to address them. For Example: My issue was my Mother. I remember being terrified of her and my eldest sister since I couldn't bare the thought of them raising their tone at me. Even when they did so and were just asking me to explain myself, before I could form words, tears were streaming. It wasn't until I realized that though I had spent so long being terrfied of them, that I had to stand my ground against them and only in doing that will I find the strength to be able to speak to them, weirdly enough. By time I was 17, I was able to speak my mind without fear of rejection. Without fear that my words or myself was not good enough to get my point across. Basically I started trusting my own instinct and weirdly enough everyone's thoughts were forced off the steering wheel of my life. <p>Now I will say this much since I really wished someone had told me this. Becareful how you go about it. It is very much possible to stand your ground and be a strong young woman without making someone else feel as if they need to gravel at your feet. Just make sure that in your tone it's strength and not anger, could definitely be the difference between gaining respect not resentment. I know it isn't much, but I hope it helps you and hopefully your situation turns out better than mine. :icon_bigg <p>P.S: If you need inspiration watch some movies or shows like Buffy, The Vampire Slayer or Charmed(The first three seasons). Shannen Doherty as Prue was definitely an influence whom I took inspiration from. Very much a role model for someone anxiously-timid yet protective such as yourself. Best of Luck!! (*hug*)
No problem. And another thing I forgot, the key to all of this is to take it easy on yourself and just breathe. You can be focused without nearly killing yourself in the process. Be more lenient and allow trial and error. Remember, you can always learn more from a failure since than a success. Btw, its this song called "Breathe" by Michelle Branch that can help as well.
I just wanted to remind you to not expect so much from yourself since that was definitely one of the issues I had. It felt like anytime I couldn't be superman, I wasn't strong which isnt true. Srry about messing that message up
Sounds like some of your experiences are completely normal..ie A book suddenly crashing to the floor, some unknown placing their hands over your eyes, people touching your face. How many people allow for that type of space invasion? Not being able to directly confront someone (especially an ex), when you've planned to do it, is an extremely common experience. That goes double for whenever there's a witness (professional or otherwise) present. People walking behind me at night, always freaks me out, if they are less than about 20 feet away. I also try to avoid people sitting directly behind me, in a sparsely populated situation. I'd much prefer to keep as much distance between myself and strangers in wide open spaces. However, I do enjoy close proximity amongst friends. Driving gets more comfortable, the more you do it. That's just the nature of driving! Nobody should be hitting or kicking you. That should be first seriously discussed with your father and other family members. If it continues, it should be reported to a school counselor. Hanging out with people and spending much time with a variety of people, requires a certain degree of social skills. Perhaps you feel as though your skill set is not quite developed enough to immerse yourself into a deep pool of social interaction. Perhaps these feelings are spawn from fear of being the main topic of school gossip, or perhaps even something else. At any rate, you should select your friends wisely and your closest of friends should be filtered by time. After awhile, it should begin to feel quite natural to want to reduce the physical distance between yourself and true friends. Whatever, they case may be, don't worry about it, because you sound fairly close to being normal to me...
i can confront my ex directly...... I've done it multiple time without care but when im in a closed room with a counselor and my ex , i start to panic.... i can go up to my ex boyfriend right now and tell him to leave me alone but .... if im in a closed room with a counselor , i dont like it. and the people touching me thing..... i dont like people touching me period. The friends thing , i've had this problem my whole life , i've tried to go out and do things with friends but i cant exactly do it. i can see where its normal.... i have some theories as to why i flinch a lot to loud noises.... a lot of my friends dont make a move when something suddenly falls.....maybe its just me
If this is really bothering you, perhaps you should set up an appointment with a professional psychologist for legitimate guidance.
