I hope I can articulate this well enough... I basically feel trapped by my own habits. I've been the same person, acting the same way for so long I don't know how to change. I feel like if I do anything differently I won't know how to deal with anyone's reactions. Example: I kind of dress lazily and would love to start dressing better, but I'm so used to dressing the way I do and so is everyone else, I wouldn't know where to begin or how to deal with it. That may sound frivolous, but when you feel that way about so many parts of your life it can really take its toll. The way I act, the way I look, what I do with my time all seems like me from 10 years ago more than me today. Has anyone else ever found themselves stuck like this? How did you break out of it?
I usually find if I add one new thing to my style or routine it sort of grows and feeds off that...especially if it makes you feel good. Like instead of changing my whole wardrobe I just found one new item I really liked. I used to never go out to eat with friends...then someone mentioned it and I just said yes and then tried to make it a reg thing to get coffee or food or ice cream w friends. Exercise was like that..and this reminds me should get back to it that way! A little action taken consistently always works better for me than trying to look at doing a complete overhaul. ---------- Post added 23rd Feb 2013 at 03:17 AM ---------- And are you in Los Angeles or Louisiana? Tons of good music in both..and fun comedy I found when I lived in Los Angeles if that is where you are!
Los Angeles Thanks for the advice. Excercise is one of the things on my list that I want to start doing with more regularity, so perhaps that'll be a good springboard.
I was stuck like you. You will only break out of this until you try. You have to decide to do what you want to and do it (it's that simple, we just love to complicate things). And you will know how to deal with it, when you have to deal with it.
Throw out some old clothes and go buy some new clothes in a new style that fits you. I agree with what Newgirl31 says completely if you aren't willing to make a really drastic change like throwing out old clothes and getting a new style then just slowly integrate new with the old. You would be surprised just how easily you can change in the right circumstances.
Change is hard! I used to struggle with anger management issues, and major communication problems. It took time, effort and me becoming more self-aware, recognizing my bad habits, specifying what I wanted to change about myself, and find alternate ways to deal with a situation. So what I recommend is that you sit down and write a list. What is it about you that makes you the most depressed? What is it about what you do, or how you do it, or who you are, that you feel is stopping you from being happy, or reach further into your potential as a human being? Feel free to post it here, or just write it for yourself. First, write down everything that comes to mind. Then look over the possibly long list with a critical eye. What is the most major, the most defining, and what hinders you the most in being who you want to be, or hindering you from reaching your goals? Then, with the critical eye, try to get the list down to 3-5 things. Then try to be creative. Do some googling and research if you need to (I had to research communication, and I was also in therapy at the time which helped, but a lot of it was me doing home-work). What solutions are there, or what strategies can you use to change these things? When you`ve come up with valid strategies and ways to implement these into your everyday life, then comes the hard part of executing it, but then at least you have a plan, a strategy and a goal for how to move forward. And it will take some time, we don`t reprogram ourselves over night, you might take a step forward and two steps back at first, but keep in mind that we always have the power to change, if we are patient and we are willing to do the hard work to get to where we want to be! Don`t give up, and give yourself every bit of credit when you manage to reach a goal, or successfully follow a strategy! Good luck! *hugs* I see that your post is less about the more serious stuff like the example I mentioned, but personal habits can be changed the same way, but it`s like shopping. If you go out, not knowing what you are looking for, you can end up with anything you don`t need, or nothing at all. If you know what you want, and how to get it, you know what you are looking for, and chances are greater you`ll go home with something you`re happy with
Appreciate the thoughtful response. I just kind of used the clothes example to show how this feeling is permeating every aspect of my life at this point. There are certainly bigger issues, and it's interesting that you bring up communication because that is one of the major ones. I don't express myself well at all because I feel like I have to act a certain way - not any particular way, like some bullshit "manly" persona or something, but just how people are used to me behaving. Even around close friends I hold back a lot and it makes relationships virtually impossible to carry on for any length of time.
