Do you ever feel like you don't fit in? I try and make new friends by joining groups, mainly LGB groups, and I find that the people that I meet at these places have nothing in common with me. This makes me feel like I don't fit in anywhere, because everyone I try and make friends with is too different to me
Yes but that's part of the reason why l do fit in IFYWIM. l've cycled through a lot of groups. l never felt connected to anything but it doesn't mean you can't have friends. Making it last is hard, there's usually a niche for the weird person though. l did have a harder time fitting in with girls and they were mean to me pre-8th grade. Which is when l also learned to be a mega biotch l didn't change much about myself but l think when you're younger you don't see other people for how uninteresting and scared they actually are. Something changes after that, maybe they can tell you don't really think fitting in with them is important and in turn you have less anxiety about it.
Just because you aren't the same, doesn't meen you can't have friends. For instance, I'm an in the closet metalhead brony who programs computers and can't play sports. I still have friends. Just focus on the things that you do have in common with people.
yep, honestly never underestimate the weirdness of other people too lol. There is usually small group out there for just about anyone.
By the way, sometimes it's great to be friends with people who you don't have much in common with - sometimes you end up liking something new because of them. For instance, I have a friend who is right wing as can be, christian, and relatively homophobic. All that means is that I get great political, religious, and gay rights debates out of it!
I would encourage you to join a non-lgbt centered club at your university. If you are unable to find a club that suits your interests you can try to start a club. I started a club in my high school that has helped me make friends.
Lmfao I feel you. It's great to have friends who you can have friendly disagreements with. Don't try too hard on fitting in or trying to fit in. It's a lot easier to just go with the flow of things when it comes to friendship. And trust me, you can find the best of friends in people who don't have similar interests at all; discovering other people's lifestyles and interests is to some degree how you stay interested in talking to another person. And if that fails, go to other clubs and social group or gatherings, there's plenty of human beings to go around lol Hoooorray for diversity
You know, I just discussed this with my therapist the other week. I feel that I don't fit in with my straight friends because I'm not, I don't fit in with the LGBT community because I'm a gender-conforming male, and I'm just sort of stuck in the middle. It's not like I have a big neon sign hanging on me saying "I'm gay!" He did say (quite appropriately I think) that's a double-edged sword - I will have to put significant effort into finding a partner due to my gender-conformance. Now if only I knew how.... This too shall pass.
im sure you will find them.i hope i do to being in the same boat.pity we havnt meet saw one of your interests was chess:icon_bigg.(i got a ban for oragnising a online game here on ec :tearslearnt a good lesson tho.
You are not alone in feeling this. I personally feel much more at home in a "mixed group", like this here on EC, and the one I encounter when I join my GF in her LGBT activist work, where there are lesbians, gay men, transwomen/-men, than I did when I tried joining the more "lesbian only" cliques when I first came out. I just didn`t like it there, I didn`t feel like I had much in common with them, and I felt like their issues were very "narrow", as compared to the issues in a mixed group. It was all about being a perfect lesbian, instead of just being human and relating to other people. It was like a contest, and boy, did they talk a lot about make-up and outfits. I like the diversity when hanging around a lot of different people in the same room, as I feel I have a more "diverse" or complex personality. Mostly, the lesbians I came across in these small cliques were very "female focused", very A4 (funny, right, considering we were lesbians), it was all about babes, and women, and drinking and the right type of music, and the cool places to hang, whilst when I am with the group my GF hangs with, we can suddenly start discussing whether being a transman or transwoman is more difficult, or differences in attitude in groups dominated by women rather than men. Or how visible LGBT issues is in the society. It`s more interesting, it has more reflection and a broader range of conversations, I feel. People are interesting, what is determined to be the right kind of lesbian music isn`t as much But people are different, and communities are different. There are a lot of intelligent and reflected lesbians out there, I just didn`t end up in the right groups for me. If your current LGBT community is not somewhere you feel you fit, try another one, or another arena, meet other LGBT people and don`t limit yourself to only meeting people just like you. It can be so enriching to be around people who might have another set of issues, who you can talk to about topics that you are really interested in, or be introduced to topics you had never even thought about. You`ll find a place to fit it. We all do, sometimes we just have to search a little In my GFs activist group, or rather, it`s a sub part of the LGBT organization working for LGBT rights in Norway, for the younger members, there are all sorts of people. I am a lesbian, but people often don`t believe it. Or they didn`t other places. In this group I haven`t experienced it yet. They don`t hold to those ideas that gay and lesbians have to fit the stereotypes, and they have transpeople, intersex people, pansexuals, bisexuals, butch lesbians, feminine lesbians, butch gay guys, feminine gay guys, gay guys who look like any other guy, etc. The only thing we all have in common is that we are connected to the LGBT one way or the other, and we`re all nice people who like to get to know new people and have interesting conversations, and in my GFs case, since I only help out as a volunteer at times when she needs extra help, further LGBT causes. There are always new arena`s to make new people, don`t give up and keep searching.
Nobody fits in we ooze in like butter on popcorn. You are not a puzzle piece after all. Loosen up and melt in.
