So I know the title seems a bit contradictory, but that's my life. Most of the tine I'm happy enough, or at least I can pretend to be. At home, I find myself in a constant state of "I hate the world." I lash out at my parents. I refuse to do what they tell me and I find myself locked safe and sound in my room. When I'm with my friends usually its the one place where I find solace, the one place the smile on my face isn't plastered on, but lately that's been getting a lot harder. For the last few weeks, its just been me and my best friend against the world. But now he has a boyfriend, and I've taken second place. The other person in our trio also recently found herself a boyfriend and both of them have fallen head over heels. So that just leaves little old me, sitting on the sidelines twiddling my thumbs. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a bad person and I'm happy for all of them. I just feel like its me against the world now. Alone. The worst part of it I think is that I just want to be loved, or at least be someone's center of attention. I've never had that before. Last night alone, I saw all of my friends kiss someone and their all the time talking about how amazing the physical parts of their relationships are. It eats at me on the inside. I guess I should be blaming my hormones. I'm just so tired of being alone all the time. Its my first thought when I wake up and my last one when I go to bed. I dream about it constantly. Sometimes its a guy, but usually its a girl. I want that connection. Sorry for the rambling rant guys... I just needed to vent.
I think its very natural to feel that way, everyone wants to be the centre of someone's world... be loved etc... damn I do too!
Same here. I'm so lonely I just want to meet someone who I'm both emotionally and physically attracted to. That's not asking for much IMO. They say do not look for love, let love find you. How about you start putting yourself out there more, so love can find you. It surely isn't going to come crawling through your bedroom window. So, instead of locking yourself up, get out there and meet people! Your friends may have a friend for you, blind dates are still in.
Oh well, I'm lonely since I can remember. I mean, I have friends, most of them live in another city so we don't see each other that much, and the one who lives closer to me we almost never hangout together and stuff. I'm okay with being alone. Sometimes is hard, but... most of the time I'm okay with it because I have accepted this fact. But you know what I do? I tend to focus on other stuff, like studying, reading, talking to people online, and then I just don't think that I'm lonely anymore. It's good to focus, and I tend to be really sad when it's near my period and I'm like... needy and stuff. But it's okay to feel this way. Try focusing on other stuff. Seriously, and also try talking to other people and making new friends (I always make new friends when I'm starting "school" again, so... it's okay, because I have someone to talk to at "school" and when I get home I just sit there and study my ass off) haha. But yeah... good luck. And if you want to talk to someone or anything, just so you won't feel lonely, you can talk to me. And don't think that finding a girl/boyfriend will make it all disappear, because... maybe it won't disappear that easy, you know? And if you are looking for a girl/boyfriend desperately it might not make you THAT much happier, you know? But yeah... okay. That's it.
