Hello people of emptyclosets! For starters I would like to apologise for my poor grammar for I am Dutch. I would like some advice from bisexual people. I know I am attracted to both men and women. Sometimes I feel like dating women, sometimes I feel like dating men, but I am fine with both. However, I cannot accept the fact that this is what I am. It's difficult, because there are a lot of people who don't even believe in bisexuality. There are a lot of lesbians that wouldn't date a girl because of her bisexuality. They fear she will leave her for a man, or that she isn't bisexual to begin with. I am also afraid that men too will refuse to date me because they think I am either a lesbian that doesn't want to accept herself or a straight girl that wants attention. Continuing my list of fears, there is another thing that bugs me. I am afraid that by coming out of the closet, I may be perceived as a 'slut' that is attracted to everything that walks by her. Personally I don't know any people that came out as bisexual and I also have never seen them on TV, apart from partying, drunk straight girls kissing eachother but who leave the party with a dude. When reporting about LGBTQ issues it is mostly about lesbians and gays. I feel like I have to pick a side to fit in. I have told my parents and my sister that I think that I am gay, even though I sometimes think men are attractive too. At school everyone still thinks I am straight and I get asked out by men, but I decline their invitations because I am still thinking of coming out as gay. Please, bisexual people that have already come out, help me because I am stuck in between two worlds! I cannot say out loud that I am gay, nor can I say that I am straight without feeling trapped in the closet. Is it really harder to date people while labeling yourself as a bisexual or pansexual? Do people think you are promiscuous? Is it worth the risk of coming out? Keep in mind that back here in the Netherlands, although we are perceived as a tolerant country, we get no education about gay people (there is no PFLAG or special gay and lesbian alliance where I live) and in between the lines there is a lot of homophobia. Example: most people think gay people should be able to get married, but there are a lot of kids that are being bullied because they act 'too gay' and two men holding hand in the streets is 'disgusting'. And what personally offends me are the loads of feminine straight girls that kiss each other on parties to get the attention of guys. Hm, that isn't what I mean. Those women of course don't offend me, they can do whatever the hell they want! But the stereotype they create that affects us truly bisexual girls is painful to say the least. Thanks for reading about my insecurities and greetings from the Netherlands! I hope I didn't offend anyone.
ohhh hi Laura, I'm sorry you feel this way. I think there are a lot of stereotypes about bisexuals and its very unfortunate. If they could see inside you they would know its not true. You just have to be yourself - I know its hard sometimes, but thats what you gotta do -This is the type of person people respect the most, even if they dont recognize it right away. Just be true to yourself and in time they will be singing your praises. veel succes
You are bisexual and you seem very proud, so why not show your pride! It's not your job to make sure people understand bisexuality. It does exist and there's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm gay and I'm more than willing to date a bisexual woman, after all I'm homoflexible. So, there's no way that I can be prejudice against bisexual women. If you show people that you're proud to be who you are then they will respect you for authenticity
Dank je Sarah and thank you pinklovely for your responses I'm glad you took the time to read my post. You are right, Sarah, it will probably be difficult because of the prejudice. I can also see that it is important to be yourself, no matter what. And pinklovely it's very nice to know that there are people out there that won't judge me based on my sexuality! I will move cities next schoolyear, and will be attending a university, so I will stay in the closet for a little longer and try to be more true to myself in the future.
