Choosing between Two Colleges

You seem to like Carbondale more. I think with picking a college, it is important to weigh the different factors according to what you are ultimately looking for in a school (I am also getting ready to start college in the fall). I like the idea of going away for college since we are essentially starting our adult lives. All of the schools I applied to are a good ways away, and I do not intend on coming home for anything other than the holidays and summer break. I am very eager to start over in a way since I'll pretty much be on my own.

Like you, I'm a bit nervous, but I would say I'm actually more excited for the opportunity. When you think about it, you shouldn't be nervous because all of the other freshmen will be going through the same. Some may be a bit closer to home, others may be from out of state, but nonetheless, all of them are getting out and starting college for the first time (assuming they living on campus).

I don't think you should pick a campus because your friend is going there. You should go where you want to go. College is about you preparing for your future, not about staying with high school friends. You will make new friends regardless of where you go, that is why you should go where you want to go. More important factors you should be considering are the cost of the school, quality of education, available majors that suit your interests, location, ect.

So, my best piece of advice would be to go where you can really see yourself being happy and successful. I wish us both the best of luck in picking our schools; it really is an exciting time.

 

As someone was is also about to enter college himself I though that I might chime in.

It sounds to me like you really want to go to Southern, and will benefit the most from going there, but don't want to abandon your friend.

First off, if your friend is a true friend, I don't think he will go nuts over you going to another college. Second, if you plan on coming out in college and think that your friend is a major obstacle then I think that you should not go to the same college as him. Not being out and comfortable with being yourself in public will stunt your psycho-emotional growth (which is half of what college is about).

Ask your friend what he thinks you should do. Tell him (not us) that you are afraid of loosing your friendship if you go to a different college but you feel that the other college has more to offer you (or whatever the case may be). Ultimately the decision is yours. Personally I think that if your friend is a true friend he will want you to go to the college that will be of the most benefit to you as a person.

I wish good luck to both the OP and Equalist in your college endeavors!

 

I would recommend picking the college that will benefit you the most. By what you are saying it sounds like southern is the best option.

A big part of college is becoming independent, It is a lot easier to do this if you are on your own to do it. It will force you to make your own decisions and grow as a person. My close friends went to a local community college and I left for a college in the city. This was one of the best things I have ever done, I stayed friends with my friends from high school, but I also had to make friends at my new school. I feel like a more well rounded person now that I have worked through the college issues by myself.

 

Purely on a business case --as a university lecturer-- I would say chose the college that has the best reputation and chance for employment when you finish your studies..

 

Regarding accreditation, I think it's important to remember that for the most part, wherever you graduate you're still going to end up with your bachelor's in whatever. That degree is the same from school to school. What the specific school affects is:

- if there's a specialized sort of program
- if there are good employment opportunities (i.e. co-op)
- if the school is ridiculously renowned (i.e. Harvard vs. some other American school I haven't heard of)
- if the employer you're looking at happens to have graduated from the same school, you may get preferential treatment, but that's basically luck of the draw

That said, I don't think you should place too much emphasis on choosing a school for accreditation unless there's a massive difference between the two.

On the other hand, I picked my school for comfort level. You say you're 7 hours away from one of them, so this may not be an option, but see if you can attend an open house date and/or arrange a tour. I had my heart set on one school until I visited the campus, and it just felt really cold and uninviting. I visited my current school and felt right at home, despite the fact that I was scared to hell that I was going to be leaving home.

The university experience is about so much more than just academics. Like I said, your degree will be the same pretty much wherever you graduate, but your personal experiences, memories, and opportunities for growth will vary. I have tons of things that I think have made me grow as a person that will never show up on my resume or CV, and that's because I picked an environment where I was comfortable. It really allowed me to come out (no pun intended) of my shell and grow as a person.

Now, this is all coming from a super shy, self-proclaimed socially awkward homesick kid. I'm pretty damn social now and involved in lots of extracurriculars. The thing is, when you go to university EVERYONE is in the same boat you are, EVERYONE is nervous, and EVERYONE wants to make friends. You are not and will never be the only person feeling what you're feeling, so remember that. Similarly, I went to a school where I didn't know anyone else who was attending, and I now have the best friends I've ever had in my life. University has a larger pool of people than high school does, and it allows people to make friends with interests closer to your own. That's often why people say high school friendships don't last, but university ones are for life. Of course that varies a lot and is not to say you wouldn't stay friends with your friend, but I can guarantee you it isn't worth going somewhere just because he's going there. I have lots of friends who've done the same thing and regret it immensely.

That's just my opinion on the matter though.

 

Don't go to a school just because your friend are. You need to do what you need to do and if that's break away, go to school near the forest and live out of the closet at school, then that's what YOU need. So do that. Get your independence and go to the the school you think is better.

 

FYI I "started over" with friends when I went off to college and also had no car the first year and it was fine. I am really shy with new people so I was worried but it is so easy to find friends in school..and being farther from home did help with independence...and limited those guilt-laden requests to come home every other weekend

 

I think Southern is your best choice. You seem to be picking between two lives - the life you want to maintain, and the one you want to have.

I think it's important to make your own decision. Don't go someplace where you can't be yourself. (Seriously - your "best friend" won't let you be out? So he doesn't know? That's not much of a best friend.)

If you're ready, and you know you are ready, then leave. You know when you're not. I wasn't. I'm still at home. I will eventually be ready. I'm just not comfortable doing the college thing. I'm waiting for a chance to get out and live my life - not the life of hundreds of other college guys.

That being said, go with what makes the most academic sense to you. If the northern choice has the best program, then go for it. You need the best program you can get. If you don't know yet, then consider what will make sense financially. If you are just going to go, then why spend a TON of money?