It hasn't been long since I've accepted myself as being bisexual or gay (it's too early for me to know how to label it). I haven't ever even hinted to any of my friends/family/coworkers that I have these feelings. So all these years I've just been coping with this completely on my own. But lately I've been exploring my feelings by going out and socializing in the gay community. I recently met a great guy and so far he seems like everything I look for in a man. He's sweet, friendly, and outgoing and I'm extremely attracted to him. Well last night I was waiting for him at a bar to meet up and spend some time together. While I was waiting I met another nice guy but I had no intentions with him which I made perfectly clear to him because I could tell he was really interested in me. He told me it was fine and he would accept just a good friendship. After a while of waiting for the guy I've been seeing, he finally showed up and I introduced him to my friend. He eventually pulled me aside and asked if I was interested in this new friend of mine and I reassured him that I wasn't which was the truth. After a while he had to leave because he had to work early in the morning. I stayed there and hungout for a while. My new friend ended up taking me back to his place after helping me out of a bad situation. He told me not to worry he just wanted to make sure that I had a safe place to crash since I don't have a car where I currently living. He really was being genuine about it too. Anyway we ended up hanging out at his place for the rest of the night with his straight roommates and they were all cool and laid-back. But towards the end of the night he said that he wanted to just lay down with me and sleep. I had to reassure him again that I was not interested in him romantically or anything. He said he understood but then he just look so heartbroken that I told him that we can go lay down together but I wanted to keep our relationship platonic. I'm ashamed of myself because I ended up doing things with him because I felt sorry for him. I told him before I left that I hope he doesn't get the wrong idea by it because I was interested in someone else and he assured me that he knows that I was just helping him out. But now I feel like I royally screwed up any chance with the other guy. Because I feel like I have to tell him cause I can't stand the guilt. It's been a long time since I've felt this way about somebody. I feel stupid and really ashamed of myself. It's just every guy I meet just wants to take me home. All the times I've rejected them except this last time. I just wish I could meet some gay people to form friendship and not have any romantic feelings. Alright I'm rambling now. I just feel lost and any advice at all would be greatly appreciated.
Well if you're feeling guilty about it and you want a truthful relationship with this other guy then you should definitely tell him about what you did and why you did it. If he's truly the guy for you, he should be able to understand where you were coming from and should be able to empathise with you. Of course it might not end up so simple like a fairy tale. It might take a lot of effort on your side to convince him that you really like him only. But if he was worth it, then you'd find the motivation to put the effort through. And obviously it can be hard rejecting people especially when they throw themselves on you. It helps if you could will your mind to think about the other party that you're hurting. All the best!
