I cannot keep doing this...

they must be in the denial stage.
i understand where your coming from though.

although its easier for people who i know wont be accepting because ...well...i just dont care for there opinion and a bunch of them are all like "homosexuality is a sin"

like i havent heard it before.

just let them take it in all in and live your life as it comes

good luck

 

It's like that with me too. My sister, while fully supportive of me, was all like, "are you really sure you're like that?" and just kept drilling me with questions. It's annoying, but I know it's her way of being totally sure that I'm sure, so I won't get hurt later in life.

But my mom is always demanding an answer, saying that I never go out so how would I know. I just tell her that it's not something easily explained, and that I can't tell her why. She just thinks I'm confused, that's why I can't tell her anything. :/ But whatever, you know? She knows, so I won't really try to force her into accepting it if she can't.

Whatever they think is their deal, I know who I am and I'm not going back into the closet just to cater to some people. I think your best bet is to just say that it's not an easy thing to explain (something I've said so many times to my mom...) and just let them think what they want. Some people just can't be swayed by words, and that's fine, you don't have to show or prove anything to them; as long as they at least know, I think that should be enough.

 

Aw girl I am sorry you are being so awesome and courageous and open and people are giving you all this BS!

I have heard of people countering with:
"How do you know you are straight? It's the same thing, you feel it is right blah blah."

But then I haven't used that myself. At first when I said I was questioning to my mom and close friends they said similar "I just want you to be happy" or "I just think you haven't found the right guy/are confused" but I know if I said again to them I am not interested in guys they might keep throwing doubts my way.

So for me I am just trying to focus on finding myself and a relationship...and then let everyone react how they will. Like it's their problem not mine. But easier said than done I know. I was talking to people on here about places to find the lesbian community in my town so I can really get support...and find girls!

 

If they ask you "how do you know?" then just ask them "how do you know you are straight?". It's such an abstract question. Why do I like orange? I just fucking like orange, omg!!

But don't give up. Just give them time. My friends are the only ones that know and they are pretty nice about it, so idk. But just keep going. Don't give up or it'll be harder when you find a woman that makes you happy. Or just wait until you find her and then introduce her. It'll take a while until they realize you are serious about it.

 

Somewhere there is a Steps 1-6 type thing (similar to the stages of coming out) but its stages of acceptance for others...I'm trying to find it and once I do I will post it here for ya!

 

Yeah, I'm getting the same off my mum. Everyone else is fine but my mum thinks it's a fad, or I'm having an early midlife crisis or something. Just tell them, 'yes, I am a lesbian.' You don't have to justify yourself. Most people only want to know details out of some kind of pervey(*hug*) curiosity anyway. Just start talking about girlsex and they'll soon shut the fuck up lol....well the girls will anyway. Just tell the blokes to give up, there's no point.

 

Hey hang in there, I can appreciate the awkwardness of the questioning. I agree with the other person that posted that perhaps those questions could be directed back at them "How do you know you are straight?" I think this is a direct, simple and inoffensive way of turning it around and giving them a flip side to how they view their questioning. Perhaps you could tell them that the constant questioning is exhausting and taxing towards you, and perhaps at sometime in the near future you could set aside time to have a discussion with them after they have processed the situation. After all you don't want to exclude them from this, but it's understandable that constantly having your identity questioned is exhausting. Save it for a time when you are feeling energetic and positive. Also point out that you don't question them on their preferences.

 

I think that sometimes people just need more time to fully accept it, especially if they weren't really expecting it. Which is really annoying! When I told my mom I'm bi, she was okay with it but she didn't really believe me. She currently thinks I'm just questioning, even though I told her that I realized I'm bisexual and not straight. She told me she just needs more time.

But I would just insist that you are lesbian even if you don't seem "lesbian enough." YOU know that you are, and if that's not good enough for them then they'll just have to get used to it! Although it is frustrating and hard when people don't believe you. I imagine they will eventually realize that you are serious and not just "confused." A result of heteronormative society. :/ Best of luck! (*hug*)

 

I totally understand. Both my dad and friend seemed fine with it at first but now they seem to have completely forgotton that conversation happened. Asking about guys, etc.

It wasn't something I said impulsively without thinking it through, it actually took me ages to build up to it. I don't want to have to do it again.

 

I think that there is a certain number of straight people who just see homosexuality as a fad. My friend was saying she thinks so many people are bi nowadays because it's fashonable. I'm not quite sure how you can fashon sexual attraction to people of the same sex, after all, it is 'unnatural', or so I've been told. Still, I don't think you can fabricate feelings like that, you either have them or you don't. I think it's got more to do with the fact that in general, we live in a more permissive society nowadays and people are a bit more able to be open about their sexuality. People act like in the past, or in certain sectors of society homosexuality and bisexuality doesn't exist. It does, it's just the case that people don't feel able to be open about it. Look at the church for example... It's always been my motto in life that what ever happens between consenting adults, as long as it's safe and legal, is fine by me.