This is going to be a long post. My friend G and I have been best friends since the beginning of high school, he is the person I trust the most and was the first person I came out to. Throughout high school and university we had always kept in touch, talking usually everyday. Some back story for the situation: Around two years ago G became a bit of a drug addict. He began smoking pot on a regular basis and eventually it led to harder drugs. He never got bad enough to effect his goals in life, as he was able to compete his training at community college and had begun to work at a radio station as a technician. Eventually he began to dislike the life style he led and he began going to a support group to quit drugs. He was able to come clean and he was seeing an addiction specialist on occasion to check in on his progress, etc.. Around 5 months ago he had a mental break down and was off work on stress leave, at this time he began to withdraw from society. He deleted his Facebook account, stopped responding to text messages, emails, and phone calls. I eventually drove to his house and we had a big conversation about how he has felt ashamed of himself and he was reluctant to respond to his friends. After the big conversation we began to exchange emails again as I had moved 2 hours away for school. We would hangout on the weekends I could get back home, etc.. Then about 3 months ago he stopped responding to emails and I haven't been able to get a hold of him at all. I have been really busy with school and I haven't found a time to get back home for a while. I have contacted a few mutual friends and none of them have had any contact with him in months. I am concerned for him, he had moved back in with his parents when he had the breakdown, but no one has had contact with him since I last did. I am not sure how to proceed from this point. Any advice would be appreciated.
Well you mentioned he moved back in with his parents; does he still live with them? If so, contacting them might be an option. There is a dilemma when it comes to helping others: 1) on one hand, sometimes, we're not in the position to do so. i.e. based on their situation and circumstances, someone else might be in a better position to do so 2) on the other hand, sometimes, as much as the person rejects your help, they actually truly need it, and if you push hard enough, they'll accept it. This is the dilemma "helpers" have to face before deciding "how much to push?" Therapists are usually in a better position to help with such problems, and you might want to recommend to him to see one. If that doesn't work, and if he's willing to talk to you, then I guess another alternative would be to get to the root of the motivation - i.e. why does he feel the need to recede from society, etc. All the best!
