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should i change my fb "interested in" to men?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by josh9623, Feb 24, 2013.

  1. josh9623

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    ok, so i'm somewhat out and i kinda want to change my fb profile to reflect it, but im not out to all my friends on there or my grandparents (who im friends with on fb), and someone recomended blocking that from them but im not sure how to do it, and i've also read about people being "outed by facebook" when they do updates that change security settings, so while i want to my question is should i, would it be safe?
     
  2. DeanIsHome

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    I wouldn't since when people are viewing you're account they can see the "Interested in men" regardless if you're friends with them or not, but if you're completely out and you do not care if they know then go for it but personally i wouldn't.
     
  3. Nyanko

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    If you feel like you won't be safe from certain people, or if you aren't comfortable enough with some friends you aren't out to seeing it (as well as their friends), then I wouldn't recommend it. But if you think most of your friends/relatives/friends of friends will take it well and they won't care, go ahead.

    I'm still thinking about changing mine, I just never go on FB so there really is no point...
     
  4. josh9623

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    while there are a few friends that im not sure how they would react if they found out, my main concern is my grandparents, does anyone have any extra thoughts on this or experience coming out to grandparents?
     
  5. Nyanko

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    My aunt told my grandparents, and they didn't have a problem with it - they even said they had a feeling I was into girls.

    If you're really concerned about them, I'd probably first bring up a topic, like gay marriage, and see how they'd react. If it's negative I'd advise against changing it.
     
  6. josh9623

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    well my grandparents as well as most of my extended family live in Louisiana, while im in Florida, so the topic may be a bit difficult to bring up over the phone
     
  7. DeanIsHome

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    Exactly this! When i was going to come out to a friend i used Gay marriage and adoption as a way to test the waters and i said it was for a persuasive essay in class im glad i did this first cause he reacted badly and it would have sucked if i came out to him and then he began to hate me.
     
  8. Stridenttube

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    If you set your Facebook to exclude certain people from seeing your "interested in" then you should be fine. Mine is set up like this and people who are not my friends cannot see it.
     
  9. Nyanko

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    Yes! Bring it up saying it's for an essay, that's probably the easiest way to test out someone's opinion. I wrote a coming out letter to my sister and told her it was my "essay" for her to read and give her thoughts. It was so much more easier than having a serious talk about it.
     
  10. The username

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    The problem I see with it is that if you do have it blocked for your grandparents, the people that are allowed to see it will get 'so an so changed their interested in to men' or whatever it says. People then may post on your wall because of that...

    I think I have had my privacy settings reduced once after and update, too. hmm.

    You will never have 100% privacy with Facebook, so...
     
  11. iBlakexo

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    This is exactly what i have done. I have restricted any extended family members and 'randoms' from seeing my interested in status. If a view my 'about' section as public or as a family member the interested in section is left blanks. If i view it as a close friend however, it will say 'Interested in Men'. I recommend doing this, OP :slight_smile:
     
  12. Ianthe

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    I wouldn't worry about your friends, if you are ready to be out to them, but you should probably use some other way to come out to your grandparents. Particularly if you are very close to them.

    You could send them a private message on Facebook.

    I don't think it's unsafe to be out on Facebook, unless it's unsafe to be out generally. Is there anyone that it would be unsafe for you to be out to?
     
  13. LoveMusicPoetry

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    No, not till everybody who needs to kno finds out from you. Never trust facebook.
     
  14. Kgirl

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    If you click on the pen in right corner of interested in you can select specific people to see it.
     
  15. Facebook is almost completely public (no matter what your settings are) put something on there only when you're ready for the whole world to see it.