As in, if you learn that some people close to you are bigger homophobes than you thought (by arguing with them), can it set off some stupid parts of denial all over again?
Yes. Some pretty irrational thoughts I had learned to ignore are back in the same way they were a few months ago. It's partly my fault, though. I let it be implied that I am straight when I supported gay rights despite their accusations ("you support them so much because you're a lesbian"/I'm not gonna keep on fighting with a homo"/etc).
Well of course it can, someone being homophobic towards you can make you reconsider if you really want to make such a huge decision of coming out, and put thought in your head like well how can i be sure. But i guess the thing you need to remmeber is if you have got to the point where you want to come out, then your mind must be made up over your sexuality or why would you tell people about it. And your mind was set before they said anything to you, and before you found out about their homophobia, so you must not allow then to push you back in the closet, and start making you doubt yourself. Of couse that is easier said than done, but if you go back in the closet youll prob only end up having to come out again, hope everything is okay
Hey Jay! Thanks for the advice. However, I can't really say my mind was made up before the whole thing. By closet I meant my own closet. The one in my head. I never came out to them although I was pretty tempted to do so when chatting with one of them in private. Thanks Nemo for your input. At least I know I'm not alone.
undoubtably. i wouldn't say that you would necessarily be in denial but it will definitely make you more cautious/scared of coming out.
Yeah, homophobia can definitely push somebody back into the closet. I knew that I was not straight for years, but I kept questioning myself because of some homophobic people that said that being gay is not natural.
Well, homophobia is the reason for the closet and being in denial in the first place. So, more homophobia is more psychological motivation for the denial. ---------- Post added 26th Feb 2013 at 09:47 AM ---------- And that's totally a normal response, I see that with people all the time.
@Clowstar Thanks. That makes sense. @thecat06 Well, that sounds a lot like the people I just talked about. :3 I told them off but they have affected me. :/ @Ianthe Thanks for the support. I can see what you mean. I'll try to spend more time with open-minded people, then. That should help, I guess.
Yes. Most of my friends and family are homophobic. I have been fed so many lies about gay people growing up that my life has been filled with confusion. It is tough. Surround yourself with supporting people. Try PFLAG or a gay support group. you need people in your life who will speak encouragement and truth to you.
I agree with everyone. I think it can definitely harm us, particularly if we're new to coming out. Other same-sex persons that I know who've been out for a long time are much more secure in themselves and are unphased by it, but I still struggle with it and often feel fragile around certain people - particularly at work. That's the place where I struggle the most to maintain my sense of self. It's hard.
