so i havent been ever doubtfull of my sexuality until now :S For all my closeted life ive been so sure of being gay, but now that im out to most people, and even have my first boyfreind, everything seems so confusing... i know im gay, i mean when i see a hot guy im totally drooling, and never even steer to women. Now, when the thing gets physical with my bf i just dont get there. I dont even feel like kissing him or having sex with him. Last time we "played" i coundnt reach my climax, and i felt like i wanted to stop altogether. My conflict is that my bf is really so special to me, he treats me so well, he has becomed so dependable, so understandable towards me,thoughtfull and attentive, he has walked me through all these stages of accepting myself, i mean, he is anybodies fantasy of a man... wats wrong with me? Sometimes i feel as if i want to explore other men, to try new things about my sexuality, but im bound to this relationship, and these rules, and limits, i feel as if im again in a closet, another one. I feel as if i went gay wrong lol. I started with a relationship without giving myself time or the experience to determine what i really wanted relationship wise... i really feel like i cannot supress my desires anymore, as i have been doing my entire life, cuse i know this is the very reason im going through all these problems, yet i do not want to make desicions that i may later regret... thnx for reading, srry long post and if i dindt make sense, english is not my first language.
Maybe you could try talking to him and sharing how you feel and see if he would be okay with you trying things out for a month or two?
if by trying things out you mean hooking up with other guys, he is very monogamous, and he wont take it easy. He has told me that thats the only thing he cannot forgive. Here where i live monogamy is very strongly held even among gay couples. The way i see it we are just emulating the social model imposed for "normal hetero" poeple, but although he believes we should forge our own way with our sexuality, it seems not in the way were we include others...
