My attraction to guys seems unstable for some reason. I can go months without being attracted to guys. When I am attracted to guys I don't seem to be attracted for that long. I started to get attracted to boys when I was 14 and watching gay porn. My attraction to girls seems to be more stable. I remember having crushes on girls when I was in elementary school.
And porn tastes are very hard to decipher sexuality through. Like watching gay male porn you might be just imagining penetrating someone or being penetrated...watching hetero porn you could be doing the same thing...but in the end who would you want to touch in real life? :icon_wink
I now know that porn tastes don't have much to do with sexual orientation. I do sometimes get crushes on guys, but they are never guys I can have a relationship with. When I was with my boyfriend I liked holding his hand and hugging him, but kissing him felt unnatural and forced. I don't have any experience with girls.
You sound alot like me... I rarely have crushes on men but when I do they're very short and on guys I can't have... I've watched gay porn as well and have no experience with women. O_O I'm very attracted to women though, but I have Panromantic Demisexual qualities... thus the very long sexuality label I have. LoL
Yeah I get that too! My first bf when I was 15-16 would hold my hand and we sort of had hand sex...haha..hard to explain..but I enjoyed the touching of hands but the kissing I don't even remember. I remember my first kiss (with him) seemed forced and I was just happy to have it over. The reason why I think I am prob just not into guys is that I don't like kissing them and kissing is personal just like sex to me...maybe more personal. Holding hands, even cuddling I can imagine but as soon as it crosses into making out or sex I have always felt this switch where I feel like I am forcing myself to "play the game" and it is like a performance. ---------- Post added 26th Feb 2013 at 03:01 PM ---------- Oh yeah, and I would have these elaborate "crushes" on guys that I sort of knew I would never get. For me I think it was just a way to pretend. Like I could complicate it all about the drama of even getting to the point of being together with nothing holding us back...so the actual relationship never got the focus. Guys I thought were gay were always safe haha... But then that caused a few messes. Th guy I lost my virginity too in college we had spent months debating whether we could even be together...always talking about our "issues" and then finally caved and hooked up after I cried because I just didn't want to debate anymore. Now that I think about it....not the best lead in to a first time. Sometimes I wish so much I would have just accepted myself before soooo many years of trying to be hetero. I haven't been with a girl yet but everything about how I feel toward girls just seems pure and not overly complicated.
