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My coming out letter...critique/opinions?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by lexi, Feb 27, 2013.

  1. lexi

    lexi Guest

    I'm planning to give it to my best friend TOMORROW. Please, let me know what you think...

    Kacie,
    I don't know how you're going to feel after reading this. I'm scared that you'll be mad or upset with me, but i really, really, need someone to talk to. Please keep an open mind, I could use a friend right now.

    Lately I've been struggling with the idea that i might like girls. I know that it sounds crazy, and i can't even imagine what you're thinking right now. This has nothing to do with me joking about us getting married, and I promise that i don't have a creepy lesbian crush on you! I know this year I've made a lot of jokes about being bi- and at first they were funny because i thought i was straight; but as time passed i kept joking about it because i hoped that someone would figure out the truth. The truth is that i think i'm bi. I've talked to my mom but she thinks i'm too young to know for sure. I also talked to [my boyfriend] but I don't think he really believes me.

    I'm really sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, but i'm tired of lying to my best friend. I don't want to loose you as a friend, but I guess i'll understand if you're upset. I really need someone that I can trust, and the only person that comes to mind is you. I know how weird this is, trust me, its weird for me too. I really just don't know what else to do though. I know it's a lot to ask, but please don't tell anyone.
     
  2. Dublin Boy

    Dublin Boy Guest

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    Sounds quite cool, it's direct & straight to the point, you ally any fears she may have :slight_smile:
     
  3. Cynder

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    I think that seems pretty good. :slight_smile: let us know how it all work out.
     
  4. Formality

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    You've misspelled "loose" is supposed to be "lose" 3rd paragraph second sentence.

    Otherwise it's a nice letter :slight_smile:
     
  5. CountessAbby

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    I think its a lovely letter. Honest and straightforward and from your heart. I wouldnt change a thing. She is your best friend and will love you no matter what. Isnt this just a teeny tiny part of the person you are'? You are so much more then your gender preference...good luck.
     
  6. LEZmis4

    LEZmis4 Guest

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    Aww...I think it's great! :slight_smile: Good luck! (*hug*)
     
  7. fuzzywuzzy

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    Seal of approval. I doubt you could've made your point any clearer.
     
  8. therunawaybff

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    Good job, I think it sounds fine.
     
  9. wilted

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    It sounds wonderful! Good luck (*hug*)
     
  10. lexi

    lexi Guest

    Unfortunately, I chickened out and the letter is still in my room... :/ I'm considering just telling her in person, or not at all :frowning2: it's scarier than I expected!
     
  11. The Dude

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    Is it really scarier than expected? You're out to three people already...whats the difference with this person?
     
  12. lexi

    lexi Guest

    Well, most of my friends have stabbed me I the back recently, and it seems like she's the only friend I have left right now. I already know that she thinks it would be "weird to be friends with a lesbian" and she's a Christian. So I guess Im scarred of losing her too.
    I also know there's a chance she'll tell someone else, and rumors spread like wildfire here.
     
  13. Tropical Turtle

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    Sorry to hear about what happened recently. Although I've come out to a few people now I've still to tell my best friend and my family. There's a few people who's reactions I don't, or pretend, not to care about but that's definitely not true for her. Think with your best friend you really care about what they think and don't want anything to spoil your friendship so it does make it harder.

    I think your letter is great - it says a lot of what I'd want to. Especially about explaining how you just don't want to hide it from her any more but you're worried about what her reaction would be. Best of luck with it.
     
  14. Rexmond

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    @The Dude, If it wasn't would she really be posting here? Coming out to friends that you are close to or hang around with is much easier than when it comes to telling the truth about your best friend or someone you hold closest to your heart. Bear in mind that it's likely you've know them a lot longer than your other friends, and so it is one of the most nerve-wracking experiences you'll go through because the person means so much to you.

    lexi, the letter came from your heart, and you were honest! It's a well written letter, I'm sure you won't regret giving it to her. I know exactly how you feel right now, because when I wrote a letter to someone very close to me explaining that I am gay, it was so scary even though I'm out to all my friends and have been for a few years now. A letter with that much passion will touch your friend I bet you. I had no idea what to expect when I handed the guy my letter, but I just kept telling my self, 'this is the man that helped me get through the toughest times, and has always been there for me. Why should this change that?' And I was right to think with that mindset.

    I did delay handing the letter, and I needed some kind of persuasion or confidence boost rather, so let this be yours! (*hug*)
     
  15. wrhla

    wrhla Guest

    Lexi, I think your letter is wonderful. You could consider telling her in person and, then, if you find it too hard to say the rest, hand her the letter. Really, go for it. I wish I had had the courage to do something like that when I was young.

    are the friends who have turned on you ones who you came out to? Or is it just the usual cruelty of adolescence?

    One observation: you may have consciously thought you were straight, but those jokes about being bi were coming from a part of you that needs to be heard. That's true for all of us. If there's one thing I know for sure, it's that none of us really know our own selves as well as we think. As the poet Walt Whitman said, you contain multitudes. And they are all beautiful, wonderful people, all these versions of yourself that are hiding behind mirrors.

    I hope you work it out and it goes well for you. Let us know.

    Bill