I don't really know what's wrong with me but lately, I've been experiencing the urge to just come out to everyone. I don't feel nervous or scared in any way, it's just that I'm not sure how to put it into words. I'm basically the average guy, I couldn't act any gayer, and I don't even act like the steroetypical gay guy. I've told a few people, some were surprised and had a hard time believing it while others we're like "uhm, ok...". But they accepted me so I guess that's ok. I just want to come out! I'm from the Philippines, and my mom has a completely false image of gay guys. "Gays = transgender" - that's what my mom and all my other relatives from her side think. It pisses me off, they'd be expecting me to dress like girls and talk like gay people. Any tips on how I can explain that I'm not like them? Dragqueens and "Fab 5"-gay people creep me out, and I only like masculine guys . I hope to get some advice. It would really help me a lot. I think it's fun to see people's reactions.
Your mum's image of gay guys is indeed completely wrong. Many (probably most) gay guys do not follow the stereotypes and give no outward signs that they are gay. We are just ordinary guys who happen to fancy guys rather than girls. We don't cross-dress, we don't act camp or fem, we don't have the "gay lisp" in our voices. So you are a normal gay guy too! The problem is that straight people don't encounter us "normal" gay guys, or rather they don't encounter us knowing we are gay. The only gay people they see are the stereotypes, so the image they get is wrong. The best way of starting to correct that image is to come out, if you think that is safe. Trying to correct the image without coming out would be more difficult and would have her wondering why you are talking about this rather than taking note of what you're saying. I don't know anything about attitudes to gay people in the Philippines so I can't really help there. We do have a few members from that area though so hopefully they will spot this thread. How old are you? It is relevant because the suggestions we give can vary depending on your circumstances. If you're at school and living with parents you'd need to be more sure of the outcome than if you're working and living away from home, for example.
I don't have the "gay lisp" either, and I don't speak "gay" in any way. I'm just a regular boy just happens to fancy guys . I don't think it's dangerous for me to come out really, it's tempting to just "take the plunge" and just see what happens. I'm sure everything's gonna be alright . I don't really know how to come out to my parents either. I came out to my friends by hinting them into the right direction. Should I just "don't ask, don't tell"? I don't exactly want to announce it to everyone as if it's something big and important. I'm 17 and have a part time job. I don't think my mom would reject me or anything, she might get a bit disappointed seeing that she wants grandchildren from me. My stepdad wouldn't care much. He wants me to like him so I think you know where I'm getting at. I know it might be hard for me to get to know people that have heard about my sexuality, but I'm more than just a minor detail of what I am .
Do you intend to adopt? If so, make sure to tell your mom when you do come out that if you really think the main reason she would feel sad that you're gay. It might be a little onorthodox, but if you feel you can trust your stepdad, why not try talking to him first, as you said he'd be ok with it? Maybe he can help you lessen the blow to your mom? >_< I hate the words "Gay Lisp" I developed a lisp due to Bells Palsy, and now my friends all say I have the "gay lisp" -.- I despise that word XD No offense Paul =P
I'm not even sure I'm completely gay. I accept it so much that I become unsure. Normally, people would be in denial and such. I was in denial and saying "I'm gay" was taboo. But know I don't even care . But what if it's just a phase? I've been into guys for as long as I can remember. It can't be a phase, right? i accept myself I don't even care about the fact that I'm gay, I'm just happy about not having to deny it. I still want to have a family though, at least a son. But I don't know how that can be possible now. How should I tell my mom btw? I can't just blirt it out. Can't stand having her and family members ask me if i've already gotten myself a boyfriend.. ugh
I think most parents have a "stereotypical image" of what gay people are like unless they already have gay friends or family in their lives. You have the power to change all that by being true to yourself. If its easier to write a letter to your mom and stepdad, then do that. You can supply them with information about homosexuality that they can read. If you want to practice first, then post the letter here and we'll help you.
I'm still having a hard time finding out when's the right time to jsut blurt it out. I don't want things to get awkward between us. I've been a bit unsure about my coming out. If the guys in my class get to know that I'm gay, I'm quite sure they'll feel unsafe after PE in the boys' locker room. i don't want them to do that, but I guess there's nothing I can do. I may like guys, but that doesn't mean I'm a perv. If I come out of the closet, there's no turning back. The problem is that I still want children, and I don't want to adopt. Bummer I know
If you have any friends whatsoever in your gym class or on your sport team or whatever, they'll take care of the "omg he's a homo pervert" problem. That shouldn't be your big worry
I do hope so. Yeah, I do have some friends, but I've only told a few of them about my sexuality. I don't know how they would respond if I told them, and I don't know when's the right time.
I've been thinkin a lot lately about how I should come out. Also, I've been thinking about if I want a family or not. I mean, I still want biological kids, but if I come out, that's not likely to happen and there's no turning back. Dang, I''m so confused.
Well, I was at my mom's cousin's house yesterday (She has a gay/transexual son). Filipino gays like to dress up as females, sing etc (the stereotypical gay person, I'm not one of them though ). Anyway, they were talking a lot and my mom's cousin suddenly said : Good thing "my name" didn't turn out like my son (she has nothing against gay people, she fully accepts her son). and my mom was like: homosexuality isn't as popular there in *insert name of european country*. and I just joined the convo, saying: yes, it is. it's just don't they don't act like the stereotypical gay person. They still act like boys, the only difference is that they like boys. If I were to be gay, I would never put on women's clothes or act feminine. (and she knows how sexist my expressions can be sometimes, so that could be a good argument: "why would I want to act like a girl?! I don't want to be the weaker sex"(no offense girls, this is just so that I could illustrate a point. I want her to know that I'll never act like a girl! and no, i don't consider girls to be the weaker sex, mind you.) and she was like: *shocked face* oh, really? is there somethign you want to tell me? then she was smiling a bit. I just brushed it off and said I was joking. I wouldn't want to come out when there were other people around. But hey, that was progress
