My family and friends keep hounding me about when I'm going to date. I try to explain to them that I will date when I do. I'm too self-conscious currently, and I believe if someone were to ask me out, they'd be joking. Personally I feel I have to get over this before I date, but they just don't understand. They keep saying "How are you gay if you don't date?" and it's just adding the stress that I finally got rid of, which is not fun in the least bit. One even made a comment about just telling them to add more stress to their lives, which really hurt me :/ I rarely leave the house anymore. I live in "The Projects" and there is no where I can walk to hang out w/ friends and such, as it's pretty much the other side of town :/ I cannot drive, as my mom refuses to teach me, and none of my friends are willing to teach me, even after I get a permit. This house bound thing makes me keep thinking I doubt I'll ever date. I need to get a job, and although I've been applying online to places around town, my mom refuses to believe me. What's worse, is she didn't get on my sisters to get a job until they were 20. Yet she's been hounding me since I was 16. So obviously, I'm not the biggest fan of talking about getting a job. She CONTINUES to harass me about going to college, why? She wants me to get the financial aid checks. I have no interest in college currently, I attempted to go, but I had a breakdown and had to unenroll, and she just doesn't understand this. The community college is the only one I can attend due to my grades that suffered from my depression, but they have no classes that interest me. I may attend college in the future, but not anytime soon. Every day she either brings up the job or school, and no matter how many times I tell her to stop, she still does it. Anyone have advice on how to handle my family issues around dating and possibly college/job? I do want to get a job as I said, I just can't find one. The governor made so many budget cuts, they've even stopped hiring 16-17 year olds, and as I have no past work experience, that doesn't help. I have volunteer hours at a museum for kids here, but I can't remember who my supervisor was, and neither can the museum :/
Your mum (and family members) seems to be wanting you to do everything at once, which is uber silly considering you're still young. First off, the dating. It's silly to claim that you aren't gay because you aren't dating guys. By that logic your other family members won't be straight if they ever end up single. There is no rush to get into a relationship, and if you have any things that need to be sorted beforehand then it's very important you do. If you rushed into a relationship just to satisfy your family then you're not only putting yourself at a risk of seeing relationships in a bad light if it goes bad, but you could also end up hurting your partner because of any insecurities you let come between you. It wouldn't be fair for either of you and the fact you know you aren't ready should be enough to stop your family from affecting your choice. If they mention it again then i suggest you tell them why, and possibly tell them to back off and leave it to you to sort out. You don't interfere in their private life so they shouldn't do it to you, even if you are part of the family. As for the Job vs College battle. You have pretty much said it yourself, you aren't ready for college. You are applying for jobs and you just need to keep at it. You will get one eventually. It is useless going back to college if you do not want to because you will have no interest in it and most probably will not do as well as you would if you went when you wanted to. Your mum needs to stop pressuring you and let you get on with your life. You're very dependant already considering your age, and you are not doing anything wrong. Your mum can choose not to believe you all she likes, but it seems to me like she is worried about you and wants to try and get you things that, based on past experiences, teenagers your age want. Sadly she needs to realise that not everybody wants to have a partner and go to college. Some people do have problems in life and she needs to be aware that you are going to overcome these before you progress further. You know you have problems which you need to overcome, which is great because so many people take alot longer to realise, so just make sure that nobody pressures you into anything. There is a high chance you will fall backwards if they do pressure you into anything.
I wouldn't worry about not remembering who your supervisor was at the museum... that shouldn't matter. And in the mean time, until you do find a job, why not get out and volunteer again? It could be at the very same place if that's within walking distance to where you live. Or you could volunteer at a local shelter, or something. Employers will be looking for SOMETHING on your resume - even if you weren't paid for it. It shows that someone has put some faith in you before to do something, so they'll feel more comfortable doing the same thing. There are likely employment offices somewhere in your neighbourhood. Have you tried getting help finding a job? Do all your friends and family members know that you're looking for something? Sometimes it is through a 'connection' that you land that first job. That's how it worked for me and my first job. Good luck.
