I´ve been here previously and talked about this, and you´ve told me my parents already know and I just have to tell them and get over it. Well I think I just dont have it in me. Today I decided to do something "bold" I posted something about Justin Bieber in fb because of his birthday, it was a list of accomplishments and stuff. It wasn´t really a big deal. But one of his accomplishments was being hot :icon_redf so I didn´t care, I said whatever. But my mom read it and came to me and asked if I had read the post about Justin that I have shared. And then started asking me if I thought he was hot, if I was in a fan club of his (which Im not) and I got nervous, and kind of laughed and she was like "why are you laughing?" do you like him? I said I liked his music and him as an artist. And I said I didn´t think he was "hot" :icon_redf :icon_redf so she told me to read the full posts before sharing them because I might mislead people :icon_redf Now I feel uncomfortable. I clearly got nervous with the question, she did notice it, I feel that I don´t have it in me to come out to them, no matter if I decide to try :icon_sad: I ended up deleting the post :icon_sad: So maybe I should start looking for a girlfriend :icon_sad:
If you keep this up you'll eventually just wear yourself out. Let them figure out your sexuality on their own, don't do it directly, just be yourself. I'm sure that they won't mind. If you're consciously doing this then you're obviously just having a rough time. I suggest you practice feeling more comfortable towards homosexuality in your life. I'm sure after you watch some videos and talk with some people, telling your parents would be a breeze. (That is if they're not the bigoted type, that's a whole other question..)
Kylegf2011, your parents already know. It's so obvious that they already know. You are only causing emotional stress on yourself and your parents by keeping this a secret. It sounds like your mom was giving you an open to tell her.
Parents always think about what's the best for their children, but that depends on what is best from their own point of view. So, probably you should wait until you feel more comfortable about it, but don't pressure yourself.
Kyle -- you know who you are -- for now that's what matters.(!) So now you have a sense that Mom might be sensitive to this. I'm sorry that makes it harder. (&&&) I'm guessing that based on the way Mom responded, she may have a sense you're gay already. Keep using Facebook as way to gently push things a bit. It gets the LGBT dialogue out there. Maybe not post pics of all the hot guys, though :lol:. How's your support network -- LGBT center? friends? etc.? Keep building your posse, people to be there for you. Is there a Coming Out group you could be part of? I know for sure you will come out to Mom. And it will ok. You're her son and she loves you. Take a deep breath. There's no rush to come out, right? It'll happen. Not tomorrow likely, but probably sooner than a year from now. Keep posting here --
What I don´t understand is, if they already know about me why would they still make their hate towards gay people so obvious, why would they talk about how wrong it is when it´s brought up?? they could just say they don´t care and it´s fine and then I would feel more comfortable to tell them. ---------- Post added 2nd Mar 2013 at 01:08 PM ---------- I don´t know any LGBT center nearby, and I´ve told like 5 friends, but some of them decided to erase it and forget I ever said it. I do feel that some of my friends would be ok with it, but Im afraid to tell them because it would get out, and my parents would find out :icon_sad:
Because they don't want to believe that it's true. They are trying to convince themselves that, by some chance, you're not gay. My parents did the exact same thing. They spewed homophobic garbage everytime anything LGBT related was in the media. I never wanted to tell them. I thought I knew deep down that my whole life would come crashing down if my family found out. I was wrong, turns out they had suspected for a ling time that I was gay. I know how much thinking about coming out to your parents sucks. But it won't be as bad as you think. Look at it this way, you can't hide this forever (well you can, but you'll be miserable). Once you come out you and your parents can move past this and you can get on with you're life. You'll be happier and it will be easier to find a boyfriend, etc.
Kyle,your parents have "known" that you are gay for a long time.They just need you to confirm it,they have given you plenty of opportunities to come out. The reason they continue with the anti gay comments is becuase they are in denial and clinging on to every last hope that you "might" turn out straight.You have read enough posts on here to know about the 5 stages of grief that they are going through,well they will continue to be in denial,clinging on to hope of a straight son until you can confirm otherwise.They need you to come out in order to let them get over thier grieving stages and move on to acceptance. We all know how difficult it is to come out to parents,but the relief after is so well worth it.You dont seem to be able to tell them when they give you an opening so why not try doing it on your terms.Set yourself a time (after tea,before bed etc) when you know you can get a few minutes alone time with one or both of them and bring the subject up yourself,tell them in a confident way that you have worked out that you are gay,accepted it and wanted to let them know.Just keep it simple and to the point and be there to answer any questions they may have. Good luck Kyle,get it over with so that you can all move on.
Dude, do not think about getting a girlfriend. Why make it harder on yourself when you do come out? That will just make them think that you are a feminine, but straight guy. Getting a girlfriend can only make things worse.
I will second Undercover's statement, don't get a girlfriend, that ain't gonna work and it'll only make matters worse.
I third the girlfriend part. I think you should let yourself time to come into terms with your sexual orientation, so you feel safe and secure with it. Sometimes it takes A LOT of time, years be 100% accepting of your sexual orientation. But still, there's a point where you can acknowledge it (realise the fact that you are gay and there's no cure/ solution to it, because it's not even a problem, it's perfectly fine) and come out. Maybe your mother knows, but don't feel pressured to come out just because you've gave a huge clue. It's at your own speed.
You will come out when you are ready. Don't try to push it. All the other posts had really good advice. Hang in there.(*hug*)
Hey! I understand that it's hard to come out. I still remember the days before I came out to my dad(and up till today only my dad and my brother know, everybody else thinks that I'm straight). I would recommend that you come out whenever you are ready. But I strongly disagree with something and that is "getting a girlfriend" part. That will make things very complicated and you will also be playing with her feeling. And in the end i think it will lead to a lot of distress. I think it would be very hard to fake a relationship as well, unless she is your 'beard' and she knows the truth about you. Just continue enjoying your life and focus your energy on other things. Hang out with friends, study, etc... And one day when they have to know, they will.
(*hug*) it happens with me too when i post about my fav female pop artist everyone makes fun of me i hope it gets better for you
Kyle, they've known, probably for years, and they've even told you, in so many words, that they know. They might still be desperately hoping it isn't true, and that's why they're making all the anti-gay remarks; it's a denial, part of a defense mechanism that comes from the unconscious... "Maybe if I express my displeasure and how much I disapprove, he won't tell me this thing that I already know." Really, you've been at this same stalemate for years. Your parents keep giving you opportunites to tell them the truth (because they know), and it isn't going to change until YOU change it. Why don't you just send them a text and be done with it. It can be three words... "Mom, I'm gay." Or write a note and leave it on the refrigerator. Or something. You've been miserable for years, and you owe it to yourself to get past this.
