Over the last few months I've been arguing with myself and have finally come to terms with the fact that I'm gay. While that has been a slight burden off my shoulders, I'm at a bit of a loss. I live in an area that isn't very open, by which I mean there isn't a lot of gay/bisexual support here. Meeting other gay people that don't just want a one night stand isn't that easy here. And I just can't move to a new area because of various reason (family, job, etc.) Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Can't really help you but I feel your pain. Being gay is awful right? Not just the stigma but the lack of dating opportunities other than a one night stand. A subculture that is different from most of society. Feeling alienated from your close friends. Having to listen to the girl moan as your roommate is doing her in the other room... The list goes on and on.
Sounds like you'll have to wait it out and move. On the other hand, you might try a long distance relationship and if it goes well, one of you would move to be with the other. The gay community is huge, and there are plenty of one night stand straight people. It's not just gay people.
Don't lose hope. I will tell you - as an older gay guy in upstate NY - an area that often made me feel like I was the one gay guy for miles! Trust me - there are other gay folks around - you might just have to widen the circle and work at it a little more than someone more urban. I meet my BF online - it turns out we lived like 10 miles from each other but would never have met if not online.
How can being Gay be awful How can any love be bad :badgrin: be Gay be proud ride: we get enough shit from Straight people without putting our selves down, if you look at life with a defeatist attitude, then you will fail, there are solutions out there if you look for them, there are Guys who don't just want, one night stands Straight Guys can be on their own as well for long periods of time, never meeting anyone, never getting any action, try & stay positive (*hug*)
I can second Dublin Boy...I'm sure it's hard, we've all been there. What you describe is the 'gay experience,' for a lot of people, something that we have to overcome. Try and think of it in a different way. Frame yourself as a trailblazer, a survivor. That's a hell of a lot better than being a victim, don't you think? Okay, I LOVE your avatar. Is it like...a male Carmen Sandiego? Also, you said you recently accepted that you're gay and that doing so has helped. So there is hope/you're making progress, even if it's little by little. Props to you for finding EC and working on your issues. Beyond that, keep hope alive. Think about your problems differently, and remind yourself how awesome you are for coping and getting this far...and imagine how proud of yourself you're going to be once you do even more to solve your problems. Even if you don't get the exact results you're looking for, at least you're trying and overcoming obstacles to better yourself. Doing so will make you stronger and potentially a better boyfriend, later on. Remember that you can move, if you really want to. It is a little bit easier in a big city (though there are other things that are hard) and sacrifices are made if you stay as well as if you go. But it is possible, depending on how bad you really want it. I would say staying is brave option, but moving away certainly wouldn't be easy, either... You could try online dating, join some kind of social group, take a night class in something fun...maybe even get a part-time side job in something where it's easier to meet people. There are things you can do. Get out and do them. And be kind to yourself and remember it takes time. Plan for the months ahead and stay positive. We're all here for you.
Thanks, everyone for your words of advice. Oh and satchel, my avatar is Alucard from the Hellsing Ultimate anime.
