Life as I know it.

Hey, that's why ec exists: so we can all rant and bitch and moan for hours and no one will stop us...most of my "official" rants are longer than most papers I've written.

As for your dad, it's good to set a goal like Christmas for yourself. But is Christmas/the holidays generally a stressful time for your family? Because if it is I'd recommend doing it sooner (or later, if you don't want to do it right away). Plus, the longer you wait, the harder it becomes for both of you (clearly). I think that this situation might also call for a letter, so you can say things that are hard to articulate and really work on what you want to say and how to best get your points across. And, with a letter, you could also tell him that you're gay in person, if you feel that that's something that you need to do, and then leave him with the letter and ask if you can talk after he's read it.

Though you don't have to listen to anything that I've said since I haven't even come out to my mom yet (though for a second writing this I definitely thought I did...weird...) let alone my dad, so if this doesn't seem to make any sense, then it probably does it.

Good luck with this! (*hug*)

 

I know what you mean when you say that the action is so easy to do (just walk up and tell him), but actually doing it seems impossible (it took me months to actually come out to my best friend, i'll go and write about that after i get through a few other topics).

If nothing else, EC is a great place for ranting. I've also had my fair share of rants here (and i don't usually cut myself off, either..).

 

Hi Brenton,

Be proud of the fact that you're making progress in that you've set a goal for yourself. I tend to think that a few days before the holidays is better than directly on a holiday. That allows some time for the dust to settle if it turns into an emotional event and for you to return to planet earth. By the way, quit accusing yourself of having lied to anyone, including your dad. It takes some people decades to find the truth (myself included :icon_redf ) and some never do at all. You’re doing pretty good to find and share the truth at 16.

The letter idea worked very well for me, since my relatives are in the states. But the letter mainly helped me to focus my thoughts and speak honestly about my feelings. I also shared the letter with a few close friends and the results were remarkably positive. It also opened the door to a relationship with a guy I really love .

It’s been such a relief to be out to my family and friends. All that’s missing is my boss and that will happen when the next opportunity presents itself. Via private mail, I sent a copy of the letter I used. It might give you some ideas.

Good luck! You’re almost there.

 

Well we are here with you Tired. I think starting with a single friend to act gay with is a great idea. If you really need to express that other side of yourself, it's easiest to do it around people you have already come out to because change probably wouldn't surprise them. If you manage to build up from there, people you havn't come out to asking why you are acting so gay is simple, hand-fed opportunity to come out to someone.

Also, the more you socially learn who you are, the more you'll be able to accept yourself and feel comfortable acting however you feel in front of whomever you want.

Just one more tip: girls love guys who are/act gay. so if some of your best friends are girls, thats a great place to start.

 

yeah i know what youre talking about, tired. i get the same comments from the guys in my family, and it sucks so much that i have to lie to them. id say that talking to your dad about this during christmas could be a big risk. it could potentially bring your family closer together because there are no more secrets to hide (or are there? *winks*). but then again the results could also be catastrophic. i dont really know your father...ok i dont know your father at all, but if he's understanding and open to new things i dont see the harm in it. but then again what do i know? haha. and yeah i know what you mean by putting up a different front as i have to do it everyday of my life. i cant begin to count the times my guy friends have chatted about girls and me having to lie about her being hot or her having a nice ass etc...etc.. but i hope that i can break out of that shell later on in my life. but i guess overall you should be who you are. people will either hate you or love you for who you are and theres really nothign you can do to change it. i guess what im tryign to say is your dad has known you ever since you were born. i doubt hed throw all those priceless years you two have spent together just because youre gay. boy this is very long. i need to learn how to say things with less words.

 

My advice is not to do it on christmas if your parents are conservative and will care. My friend did that and it was catastrophic. Wait a bit.

 

Friends can be so understanding...I told my couzin(who's my best friend) that I was gay and all she did was laugh..lol! She knew it all along and she was so understanding. Then I told my other friend and she just flooded me with questions..lol. I have been acting more like my self (my gay self) around school and stuff..and people seem to like me better that way. So coming out could be a wonderful thing and friends is a great place to start. I am not to sure about the whole parent thing though. My parents are split up and strictly Christian...and so against gay ppl...as mostly all in my town. But yes telling friends is a great place to start coming out.

 

when my sister told my parents my mom was freeking out for like two weeks after but now shes fine(except if you say the word gay around her she goes kind of white and changes the subject). try and gage how your dad will react and tell he accordingly my sister told my partents right after a vacation so that they where a little more relaxed