Hi everyone. I feel useless. Ugh, here I am again feeling very shitty about my life because all I have is that, a shitty life. I turn 17 in a week and I really really really want to tell my dad, but I just can't do it. I feel like he will make a big deal about it OR he won't care at all. Plus all my "friends" are God-knows-where and here I am in spring/summer break and on my house doing nothing but crying. I feel bad and I feel useless. Is that everytime I try to do something everything comes crashing down? Why being openly gay is so hard? Why? Why? Why???? It drives me nuts that my friends are just careless about me. No one has called me to see if we can go out or anything. And it's freaking spring-summer break!!! Its so unfair that when I try to be ahppy I just can't because of my stupid conditions. I hate my dad, I hate him! I would love to be living by myself, but noooo I had to have him. I'm so sorry about this is that I am very very upset right now, I need to find something to do so I won't have bad thoughts..... :tears: :tears: :tears: :tears: :help:
aawwww, sorry man! if you really want to come out to your dad on your birthday, do it for yourself, not for him! his reaction will be what it is, but you'll not have that worry looming on the horizon forever!! remember, ultimately parents want the best for their children--whatever makes them happy. give your friends a call; maybe they're really busy or maybe they think YOU'RE really busy and can't hang out. and someone's always around on EC to talk to if you think all the quiet is going to make you go insane the way it does sometimes. try to de-stress--bubble bath, music, reading, drawing, zoning out to the TV--whatever can snap you out of being depressed. and happy birthday (in a week)!!
Awww (*hug*) I'm sorry you're feeling upset. I know what you mean about how hard it is to be open. I wish I was. I know the reactions wouldn't be too bad if I just came out, but I really don't want to because something's holding me back...I figure it must be similar for you so I empathize. Remember, the one most important thing about coming out is that it's YOUR decision and is not influenced by anyone else. If you feel ready to tell your dad, then take that brave step and do it!! However, if you think you'd feel uncomfortable about it, then don't do it: leave it to a later time when you're more comfortable, and don't let anyone try to force you to do anything. As for none of your friends calling you, well have you called them? That might be a start. They might just be waiting for your invite to go somewhere. Or they might be genuinely busy. After all, it is the holidays so they might be away somewhere.
I think you should come out to your dad when you feel the time is right, you said you really really really want to tell him, so I guess coming out to him is going to be pretty soon. Don't let that 'perfect coming-out moment' slip. You said you'd prefer living on your own, trust me, it's harder than you think. My father isn't the greatest either but he still provides (for you) everything you need. Life may seem pretty shit now, but things WILL get better, they always do. (*hug*) I also noticed we have the same birthday !! :icon_bigg
Hey dude, you're not worthless. =] Everyone feels bad about themselves and they'll usually be wrong about it too. Sure your friends might not have called you, why don't you call them instead? You really seem like you want to come out to your dad, seems like the time is now. So first thing is you'll have to work out how to tell him, write a letter, or maybe find some spare time to go up to him. After you come out you'll be feeling great about yourself and not as bad as you are right now.
I agree with the others that have posted here... make the call to your friends - don't wait for them to call you. That leaves you dependant on others. The only person responsible for your happiness is you. Nobody else will take responsibility for it. Nobody. That might sound harsh, but it's the truth. So decide what is going to make you feel better - even for just the next half hour - and do it. Good luck. Life isn't easy sometimes. But just like the good times can't last forever, the bad times won't either.
:tears: I called some of my friends, they weren't home, didn't picked up their cellphones :tears: I'll keep trying :dry: Now well, I know how is to live alone, last year I worked half time and studied in the morning, paid my own stuff, basically the only thing that my dad gave me was... the house XD then I paid everything else for about 8 months. And I will talk to him. It'll be easier for him and for me if I tell him that way I guess. However I'll keep you guys posted. And we have by far 2 other people that are celebrating a bday the same day as me (!) (!) (!) (!)
