I came out to my sister a few days ago and last night she called me at one thirty in the morning and left a message just to say she loves me and things like that. I told my dad that she had called just because I thought he would think it's funny that she had called at one thirty in the morning (stupid, I know, I don't think things through) and I thought maybe she might have been drunk or something but then my dad was like "what did she talk to you about" and I was kind of put off and I said "Just some things about me and whatever" and now he's pestering me and he was shouting at me and he said that if I don't tell him what's going on he's going to ask my sister or my mom (whom I also came out to) but the thing is, I really don't want to tell anyone else just yet! I have no idea what to do and I'm in tears because I know if I do tell him I'm going to be really unhappy because I'm not ready to go really public with this yet. I told my mom and my sister because I knew they would comfort me, but I'm not really comfortable and secure with the fact that I am gay enough that I can really tell everyone. If I tell my dad (and my sister also mentioned this to me) he's going to want to talk about it with other family members, and I just don't want to do that. I'm not sure what to do and I know I could make something up, but we've shouted about it enough by now that anything other than the fact that I am gay has to be something bad like I'm pregnant or something. I've told him that he'll know at one point but I'm not ready just yet and then he just walked away and said I can tell him later today. I don't want to and I don't know what to do ---------- Post added 4th Mar 2013 at 07:21 AM ---------- It may also be good to mention after I came out to my mom and to my sister, I felt even worse than when only I knew. I needed them to comfort me, and I just don't want to feel like that again for a while, and I know in order to not feel like that, I need to do a little more self searching. Please, someone help.
Option one. Tell him. "I was talking to Sis about my sexuality. I'm gay. I didn't want to tell you because I don't think I'm ready to come out to anybody else just yet. I want to come out on my own schedule, not someone else's." if he wants to know why you didn't tell him before, point out that past history has suggested he's not the best person for keeping secrets. Then get ready for him to tell the rest of your family. Because he will. Option two. Remain mum. If he asks, tell him it's "girl stuff". (Because it is.) tell your mother and sis to hold fast, but don't hold it against them if they crack. And if thry do tell him, get ready for him to tell the rest of the family. Because he will. Lex
Yeah, I agree with Lex. Telling him it`s girl stuff, or something like it, could hold him off. Option 3, avoid him. If he tries to enforce a conversation, tell him that you are feeling uncomfortable with the way he is yelling at you, and that you would appreciate it if he didn`t pressure you. However, since in his head, he is probably driven by angst over all the possibilities that could be going on right now, debunking a few of them might help calm him down a little, and maybe get him off your back. Tell him that you aren`t pregnant, you don`t have a boyfriend, you are not going to leave to get married and your grades are fine. Then you have effectively scratched all the worst possibilities off his mental list. If you say nothing, he`ll just get more anxious and angry. *Hug!*
