1) Know if you are Gay. Sometimes people question their sexuality. There are many degrees of sexual orientation, and if you find you don't fit easily into one category, perhaps you are bisexual. Don't allow yourself to be labeled until, or unless, you are ready and willing to be. If you feel that you don't fit, or you can't understand why you aren't like other people in your life because you are different, remember that you are you, and not anyone else; and that being yourself and accepting yourself for the person that you are is something to be immensely proud of. 2) Remember that you didn't choose to be attracted to members of the same sex, and that attempts to change your orientation are usually painful and pointless in the end. When talking with heterosexual friends or family members, it's sometimes tough to help them understand this, because they have no frame of reference for your experience. Try to encourage others to see your sexual orientation in the same way as they see your eye colour - it is something you were born with and did not choose. It is something that is simply a part of your being, and not something you can change. There isn't any need to - being gay is just another way of being, and there is nothing wrong with it at all, neither is there anything wrong with you for being gay. Some people in the world believe that your sexual orientation is a choice. If this is true for you, especially if you feel attracted to both genders, you might want to evaluate your choices. Leading a gay lifestyle can be a challenging choice in many societies throughout the globe. If you feel that you made a choice, you should feel comfortable with that choice. Everyone has their own battles and choices to make, and the norms of societies may not necessarily be normal for you. If you do feel that you want to make the choice to accept your sexuality, it would be best to find friends and loved ones to support you, but do not feel - or let yourself be - pressured into believing that you should "change your ways". If anyone tries to force an opinion on you that you do not agree with, such that your desires themselves are unnatural, sinful or symptoms of a mental disorder, look elsewhere for support. There is no evidence that "helping homosexuals to become heterosexual" is possible, and treatments to "change" sexual orientation that were common in the 1960s and 1970s were very damaging to those patients who underwent them and affected no change in their sexual orientation. 3) Develop and express your individuality - if your preferred way of doing something strays from the mainstream, whatever it may be, then be proud of it - you are the one and only you. Understand that a person who is gay is no different from any other person. Like everyone else, gay people have dreams and goals, and want companionship and love just like anyone else you know. Strive every day to be the best person you can be, and remind yourself of the positive qualities and attributes that make you uniquely who you are. 4) Tell yourself that for people to accept you, first you must accept yourself. If you can't accept your sexual orientation and feel comfortable and confident in your own skin, then other people find it harder to accept you fully. It's your right to love; no one has the right to tell you otherwise. Tell yourself: "I am a person with feelings and intellect and a life, just like everyone else. I am unique and individual, and no one has the right to choose my life for me. The fact that I am gay is just another facet of who I am, just as being creative, or optimistic, or having brown eyes is. I may not be like many of my friends, but I choose to live my life authentically and happily. It's my life, and I choose to be happy". 5) Remember that you are not alone. There are many, many gay people in all sorts of communities, and there are many people there for you when you need support. There may be agencies, groups, advisers, family members and friends that you can turn to, even if it is just someone to inform of your feelings. Find a group or a hangout where you feel comfortable, and where there will be other gay people to talk with. Make some new friends, and by doing so, you will establish a new network of supportive and encouraging people around yourself. 6) Show people who you are. Coming out of the closet is the boldest step in accepting your sexual orientation, but now that you are able to live "out", it does not mean that you have to change who you are or what you like. Don't go trying to change yourself or wishing that you were like the other people in your life to cater to the comfort levels of others - there are over 6.7 billion people in the world, and you can't please everyone - and those who care about you will still love you for who you are. If someone can't accept the one small fact of who you are that is your sexuality, and can't still respect you for the person that you are, then they aren't worth your time or letting it bother you, because it's not your fault that the person can't accept it.
I was very impressed by this article. I thought that you wrote it and was going to say that you certainly have a gift. Thank you for sharing it with others. That is the value of EC it is the sharing of information and experience. Thank you
Good advice I would add a paragraph or so on the difference between sexual attraction and sexual behavior, which is the choice part. Though most of the time the two are treated the same, the behavior part is related to say how much a person has sex and who they have sex with. While LGBT is seen highly serialized part of this is the only real difference in many ways with straight people is who we sleep with. Basically remind people that just because you are gay it doesn't mean you have to be promiscuous. Thank you for sharing this.
I wish I could take the credit, but no I found it on the internet, if I can find anything that can help just 1 person, then I will share it on here, I am glad that you liked it & thank you for your kind words
I think there's a difference between accepting your sexuality and becoming comfortable with yourself, in my case, you can accept your sexuality, accept the fact that you're gay, be out of the closet, get involved in the community and do all the things gay people usually do, but there's also becoming comfortable with your sexuality, which involves feeling comfortable in your skin, and getting over your fears, problems & insecurities about being gay. I don't feel I have this done yet, I still have a few reservations about being gay that I need to deal with, I think eventually I will overcome them and begin to feel comfortable with my sexuality
Good Luck, with dealing with your reservations, I am at the stage where I have recently came out to myself, so I am in the Honeymoon Period at the moment, coming out to family is going to be a biggie for me ride:
im in that same stage but i put your post in my favorites and i read it when i get discouraged thank you
I am a person with feelings and intellect and a life, just like everyone else. I am unique and individual, and no one has the right to choose my life for me. The fact that I am bi is just another facet of who I am, just as being creative, or optimistic, or having brown eyes is. I may not be like many of my friends, but I choose to live my life authentically and happily. It's my life, and I choose to be happy. I think I'm going to start telling myself this every morning.
Apologies in advance for going 18+ but when I was questioning I tried watching gay porn, at first it felt and seemed weird but after the first or second time I realized I actually liked it more and felt more of a connection and closeness to it. Now its the only porn I watch, seeing a naked girl just doesn't do it for me anymore. Again, sorry for the 18+ content
