Really REALLY want to let her know

My god, I have been battling in my head for a week and a half when I told myself I would do it last weekend, I think? I cannot remember.

Anyhow, this school week has been the most stressful period of my life ever. Two tests EVERY DAY THIS WEEK. I had to turn in a report, which I didn't do fantastic on. We have nine weeks test, which is like four nine weeks, two nine weeks in a semester. I don't know, it's weird. I have two tests in each class, ALL WEEK. One nine weeks test, the other on chapters. I have to turn in a report. I have to write another report for my dual enrollment class. I have another upcoming test this week after next. It's just horrible ordeal.

And in the midst of all this, I keep telling myself to tell my cousin who hangs out with me and my friends at school that I am gay. I have had a major confidence boost in telling all my friends. she is the ONLY ONE that doesn't know in my group of friends. We're all in the same room together for 7 hours a day, and my other friend brings up something gay everyday, but I don't know. If my cousin knew, she wouldn't tell anyone. I know that, but what if someone like her sister who is super gossipy heard? I don't want for it to be spread like wildfire. On top of that, she's asked me once before. I told her I wasn't gay. <--- LIARRRRR @ myself.

I'm not sure if she is waiting just like my other friend who said he waited on me to finally confess it. What if I asked my friend to tell her? She and my cousin hang out all the time, and they have extra-gossip-girl time, too. Would it be too impersonal? Would she be mad at me for not being able to say it to her and that she had to hear it from her friend?