I keep putting off coming out to my friends cos I'm stupid. They will be the first people I tell as it is more important to me that they know than my parents. My best friend is an FtM which is how I started to question my gender. When he came out I had no idea what he meant so I researched it and identified with it so I kept researching. I kept thinking it was a phase but it has now been 6 months so I have completely ruled that out. All my friends are very accepting of him so I don't see why it would be different for me when I come out. I keep thinking that they will think I am attention seeking or copying him or something. Every time I come close to telling someone I have all these doubts and I have no idea what to do so I chicken out of telling them. I am going to tell them that I am questioning because I am still not entirely sure and I keep doubting myself. Has anyone got any advice to help get past the mental block thats stopping me from talking to them and to stop me having so many doubts. Thanks
To be honest, coming out right now might seem like you're just copying him. As annoying as it sounds, it would probably be best to wait at least six months.
Well, since it has been a while, you could try and explain to your friends that you started to think about it because of your best friend and that you figured it out from there. You could also talk to your best friend first, since he should understand, which might give you the confidence you need to tell your other friends.
I was thinking of talking to him first as he is my closest friend and he is more likely to understand what I am feeling. I just keep thinking that I am attention seeking or coping him or something
If that's how you feel, you could tell him that as well? I'm sure he won't mind talking about it to you and helping you figure out how to tell others of course. Good luck.
Just tell them the truth. Tell your friends that you have been questioning your gender for a long time and that seeing your best friend come out has helped you to discover yourself. In a way his coming out has helped make things much easier for you. His acceptance in coming out has helped alleviate a lot of the fears you would normally go through coming out on your own. Chances are your best friend will probably not feel that you are copying him; in truth he will probably be happy to have someone else like him to talk to about Trans* topics with. Being Trans* in a group of people who are not has barriers that can be very frustrating to deal with at times. Your coming out will make things much easier for both of you in your journey. The other alternative is to continue to bottle things up and pretending to be someone you are not. I wouldn't advise doing that any longer though; you know the truth, so holding off will just make you even more miserable and might cause you to resent your best friend. Your friends do not sound as if they are shallow, so I doubt they will think you are jumping on some Trans* bandwagon for attention. It's rather common to have someone coming out of the closet help loosen the locks on closet doors around them. Good luck! ^_^
I think i will try and talk to him within the next week, that should make talking to the others easier as he can help me and give me some support. Do you really think he might be pleased if I come out? I don't want to bottle it up as it is making me stressed and untill I have some friends to help I can't get a binder, which I need soon.
I'm almost positive that he'd be happy for you. If my best friend came out as Trans* I'd personally be ecstatic with it. Having a support system in someone who you've known most of your life sounds like a Transgenders dream come true. When that Trans* barrier is removed you guys will probably become closer friends. :icon_bigg
Ok, one of my largest fears was that he would be angry or upset and start to ignore me if I told him.
That fear is natural hun. We all fear change and the unknown. The key is to not let that fear keep you locked up in misery any longer. Don't focus on the negative things that could happen. Think about all of the positives that might occur and take that first step out of the closet. It's hard telling someone; but you'll never know what will happen if you don't try right? Good luck! (*hug*)
