There's this friend of mine that I've been thinking of coming out to for quite a while. She came over to my house today and I wondered if it would be a good time to tell her. Several good opportunities arose, but I found that I just simply couldn't do it. It's not that I fear her reaction; actually I just recently found out she's bisexual herself; but I feel like something's blocking me from telling her, and I don't have a clue what it is. She's a great friend and she'd understand, but for some reason I just. can't. do. it. Presently I think she thinks I'm bisexual because we have about 50 gay jokes between us and that led us on to talking about sexuality and we ended up talking about girls we'd fancied but I think it sounded more like I was bisexual, even though I'm not. I really badly wanted to tell her I'm all the way gay, but somehow I just couldn't, and I have no idea why. Um...help??
Since you think she thinks your bisexual, then the closet door is halfway open already. You can take your time, or you can quit waiting and tell her. If I was in your position, I'd tell her, the entire shock of you not being straight (if there was any, that is) is probably over with and I think its best to be honest in any friendship. You might feel like you can't tell her because you still feel like you have to be quiet about your sexuality to everyone. Yes, there are going to be some people in this world that you don't want to or need to tell. However, since she's bi and you both have talked about girls you like, all you really need to do is clarify your sexuality completely to her.
Perhaps is the fear of losing her? I know it might sound dummb to a point, but do you think that she may feel as if you want "something more" with her if you tell her? I mean, don't have fear. She will understand and she will be supportive. Duuuh, she's bi herself! Just be open and talk as if you we're talking of any other topic. She will see you need someone to talk and someone to be confident with. Everything will be alright
Well since you guys talk about love interests quite a bit, the most apparent solution would be wait until she mentions boys. When she asks "oh what do you think of John?" you could answer with something like "Oh - I'm really only into girls". One thing tho' - you said you were worried because she assumed you're bi when you're gay...but what if you had done the same thing for her?
maybe tell her in a diffrent way besides telling her your self but i dont think that she would care since shes bi herselff are you could just wait till u feel that its time...[its all good]
look, either way Darl, you're going to have to tell her one day. Maybe, as Micah said, she may have been trying to tell you the same thing, but she was too scared herself? Or maybe you're worried that she will want a relationship with you? I'm here for you no matter what ok?? PM me any time
Heya thanks guys The weirdest thing happened last night. I completely couldn't sleep so I was lying in the dark just thinking about spirituality and sexuality and coming out and being gay and being in the closet and I asked the angels why it was so difficult. Anyway I suddenly had this massive instinct and grabbed my phone, turned it on, and texted my friend, finally telling her. I haven't got a response yet (Well it WAS the middle of the night!!) but now I'm waiting on tenterhooks. It's as if the angels were telling me to just do it. Cos after that I was finally able to go to sleep.
Wow cool! I'm sure the angels gave you good advice I hope your friend takes it well - I'm sure she will!
Ok everyone, it's me again. I figured I'd post this in the same thread because it's sorta a similar issue and I can't be bothered to make a new thread. My sister. She's one of the people I worry most about coming out to. Now, today it was me, her and my friend (who I'm out to) and we were at the beach club, and we were in the changing rooms and the friend asked my sister 'are you homophobic?' and my sister was like, 'no but i couldn't imagine going out with a girl'. Plus signs so far. Later in the swimming pool, we are still on the subject of gay people and we're all sitting on some rocks in a line, and the friend goes 'We're in a line. You're straight, I'm bi, oh and Lucy is such a lesbian, of course.' She means it in a jokey way of course, but I couldn't help but feel like she was trying to push me out of the closet before I was ready. I asked her about it and she insisted that she was joking around, and I warned her that my sister already suspected me and didn't need more encouragement. She was like, 'It's not like you hide it, you act really obviously.' <--That confused me. I didn't think I'd been acting gay at all. Then later, somehow we're *still* on the subject of gay people, and my sister goes 'Lucy, if you're a lesbian, come out to me first!" <--This can't exactly happen because I'm already out to 5 people so she can't be first anymore. And also, I'm still scared of telling her for 2 reasons: 1.) She's 13. Is she really old enough to understand? 2.) I'm afraid she might look at it from a different perspective since it's coming from a family member. My friend said that I might as well come clean with my sister, but I still feel like I can't. It's like what happened with my other friend - it's as if something's blocking me and I can't figure out what. So...advice please? Thanks for reading.
HeatQueen/Lucy, I sense that you're sister already knows ,and maybe wants to be part of your coming out.? Sometimes it's more comfortable to stay in the closet with all it's familiar fears . The fear is in moving to an unknown place, but there's also freedom there.
I think you should come out to your sister. She said she's not homophobic, and she'll still love you no matter what because she's your sister. Also, she's old enough to know and accept it. My neighbor came out to my entire neighborhood when I was ten, and I accepted it.
