Ok i really don't know where to start with this one, but i was talking to my psychologist today and we got onto the subject of an event that happend back when i was 12. Back when i was 12 i had this really good friend who i had a crush on. I didn't know how to explain these feelings and i defenitly didn't think it was a crush at the time but it deffinitly was. So we decided to have a sleepover at my house one time (which we had done many times before) Only this time i expressed some of my feelings to him. In all honesty i don't remember exactly what happend because i have tried to block out the memory for so long. The next day he went home and he never called me back and i haven't seen him since. :icon_sad: My psychologist believes, and i have to agree with him on this one, that this event could have fueled a lot of my repression towards my sexuality and my fear of coming out. The problem is that i feel like i need some closure. Part of me wants to know exactly what happend that night, but i am afraid of talking to him after so many years. Plus there is a possiblity that we just stopped being friends for some reason i can't think of. I also worry that he could actually be gay. Since thinking back we really did share a strong emotional bond stronger than any i had with my other friends, but this could just be purly wishful thinking. Even if he was gay i know for a fact that his family and him are very religous so if he did feel somthing that night he might have thought it sinful evil and just completely closeted himself. I don't know should i call him and if i do how would i go about it since i haven't even talked to him for five years? :help:
What would you lose from talking to him? I recently broke up from a seven month relationship with my best friend, and got really upset about it, and only now I've talked to him about it do I feel more comfortable with my feelings (he was quite upset when I told him what I felt for him still, as I think he just wanted closure, but he's been great and really supportive.) If you know (or knew) this guy quite well, and he's a decent person, then I would talk to him about it, but be honest and tell him that you can't help but feel this way. Of course, you might not feel that he is mature enough to handle that - you might want to talk to your psychologist a bit more about that. Good luck with whatever you do. All my love, A xxx
I would definitely call him. There's nothing to lose, and a great friendship to regain. Do you know anything about his whereabouts or status?
If it's really bothering you, I think you should call him, because it'll keep bothering you until you do. And really, I don't see anything bad coming out of it. People change *a lot* between 12 and 17 and he'll probably be cool. Good luck!
I'll agree with the others that there's nothing wrong in contacting him. However, I'd put in a word of caution. I've noticed - not just here but everywhere - that "closure" can tend to mean "getting the ending I want". People will occasionally stop talking to us - for huge reasons, for small reasons, and for no reason at all. And sometimes, we never DO find out what the issue was, or get a good explanation for why it happened. People aren't required to give you rationales for their actions. Yes, it'd be nice to know why our friend stopped talking to you, but if he chooses not to tell you, that's his call. I say all this not because I think that's the case here. But I want to make sure that it isn't. Know that there's a chance that he might STILL not want to talk to you. The same way you've "blocked out what happened", he might simply have stamped you "someone I don't want to talk to anymore", and not want to alter that. Or he might agree to talk to you, but won't want to talk about that night. If that's the case, you're going to have to accept it. And if so, you'll just have to chalk it up to "I did something kinda dumb when I was 12", and there isn't anybody here who isn't a member of that club. Best of luck! Lex
